The Joker and the Octopus

The sight of Chisora sitting in the ringside seats sporting this hat has become ever more comical in the light of his recent record: one win, and two defeats.

Perhaps Chisora thinks that he can follow in the self-motivational footsteps of the phrase-coiner; Ali did once admit - “I had to convince myself that I was the greatest before I could convince the world.”

Chisora has further channelled Ali going into his bout with Vitali Klitschko on Saturday night, telling the long-time WBC heavyweight champion, “You are going down in the eighth round.”

For all Chisora’s bluster it is hard to take him too seriously. He appeared at the press conference in a yellow Reliant Robin, his perpetually-bored speaking style makes it sound like he is merely playing the part of the impudent challenger, and, after all, Muhammad Ali never wore official Joe Louis merchandise.

Even when he slapped Klitschko at the weigh-in, a bizarre act that left his own promoter "scratching his head", it reeked of a publicity stunt rather than a genuine show of aggression.

Chisora has mocked David Haye’s attempt against Wladimir Klitschko and, certainly, Haye boxed with due caution – the due caution of someone who has an actual chance of winning.

If, as promised, Chisora throws caution to the wind and simply bulls forward at the Ukrainian he will make things interesting, but for how long?

Haye talked of Wladimir Klitschko as a robot that he could make malfunction and there are some who believe that the erratic Chisora could have success against Vitali. Incredibly, it seems, the brilliance of the Klitschko brothers’ jabs is still being underestimated.

Vitali’s jab may not be as ramrod stiff as Wladimir’s but he keeps his arms low and uses his reach to pick off his opponents’ punches before they have even been thrown. Chisora’s looping shots will be blocked particularly easily by the octopus like defence of Vitali.

One fears that on Saturday night the question is not so much whether or not Chisora has a chance of winning the fight but whether or not he has a chance of making it a fight.

Chisora’s gameplan is not complex. It is based on the observation that “Vitali don't like going backwards.” As such Del Boy says, “I've got to go at him from the start, fight inside and hurt him.”

Chisora is clearly hoping that Vitali has aged lately, commenting, “He used to be a great fighter a long time ago, but after injuries happened in his career, he’s a different fighter.”

Unfortunately for Chisora, although Vitali may have got slower, the arms of the man the Germans call Doktor Eisenfaust haven’t got any shorter.

Indeed, it is testament to Vitali’s imperiousness that at 40 years of age he still enters as a 12 to 1 favourite against a legitimate top 10 challenger.

Chisora earned that billing and this shot with a gutsy display in his last outing against European heavyweight champion Robert Helenius. The judges gave it to the hometown Finn but few agreed with them, including Vitali Klitschko, who sought out the impressive Chisora as his next opponent.

It is arguable that there is no way to prepare for the Klitschkos, that they are simply too far ahead of the game. All the same, in fighting 6-foot-6 Helenius and 6-foot-8 Tyson Fury, Chisora has certainly practiced the art of punching upwards.

The Finchley fighter weighed in nearly a stone and a half lighter against Helenius than in his embarrassing performance against Fury and the resulting improvements in mobility and stamina were crucial to his successes in that fight.

What he did against Helenius will be the blueprint for what he hopes to do against Vitali: to get inside the jab and outwork the bigger man on the inside.

However, Helenius doesn’t throw a jab with the authority of Klitschko, nor was the Finn able to force the pace of the fight, and that allowed Chisora to take breathers when necessary.

Unlike Helenius, Vitali Klitschko will keep his imposing jab in Chisora’s face, and at some rate – he was still throwing a massive 60 punches per round last time out as he kept the undersized Adamek at arm’s length.

The reality is that there is little to suggest that Chisora will be able to work his way past the octopus and even less to suggest that, if he did, he would have enough power to trouble Vitali’s legendary chin.

A story came out this week that the Klitschko camp blocked Chisora’s choice of ring-entry song, the theme tune to Only Fools and Horses, on the grounds that it was not well known enough to German audiences.

Already, it seems that the joker is being blocked by the octopus. Vitali Klitschko has had the first laugh; expect him to have the last.

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Vitali Klitschko