Blazin’ Saddles: Tour de Farce – Aru having a laugh, Astana?

ByFelix Lowe

Updated 23/07/2016 at 19:46 GMT

Our daily sideways glance at the Tour de France delves into the uncanny repertoire of Fabio Aru’s pain faces as Astana implode on the final day of the Tour. Also coming under the spotlight: the Pierre Rolland love-in, Peter Sagan’s indefatigability and Bauke Mollema’s brave last stand.

The idea of Fabio Aru bonking is hardly appealing at the best of times. For proof, here’s one from the back catalogue…

But the Sardinian’s bonk on the Joux Plane was not one of pleasure but unmitigated pain – unless you’re Roman Kreuziger and owed your place in the final Tour top ten in part to Aru’s implosion on the final climb of the race.

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To think of the hard work the whole of Astana – bar lone ranger Vincenzo Nibali – had done to try and loft Aru into the top five, as opposed to see him plummet out of the top ten.

With Nibali – the 2014 champion who promised to dedicate himself to the service of team-mate Aru after winning May’s Giro d’Italia – riding carefree six minutes up the road in a break, Astana started to lead the chase back in the peloton.

For yes, Nibali’s hard work in search of the stage win was playing into the hands of that man Kreuziger. When the gap got to six minutes, Astana decided to take things into their own hands.

The Shark clearly had other ideas, pressing on all the same.

And just as Nibali was riding clear on the Joux Plane, Aru was hitting the wall in spectacular fashion.

Surrounded by his Astana team-mates – who until moments before had been driving the tempo on the front of the pack – Aru pedalled squares and came to a complete standstill. For one worrying moment it almost looked as if he’d swallowed his tongue. He even suffered the ignominy of being pushed up the hill by French whippet Warren Barguil.

It was not the first time Aru has bonked – although never quite as dramatically.

Although that same Giro did see some happier times for the mouthy Italian.

Judge his latest bonk for yourselves by watching the video below…

Aru cracks on stage 20, but rival Barguil gives him helping hand

The whole thing made a mockery of Astana’s tactics – particularly when Nibali failed to win the stage, instead finishing third behind Ion Izaguirre and Jarlinson Pantano in Morzine.

What was that about sixth, Michael? After shipping 17 minutes it was more like 13th for Aru…

From the ridiculous, to the sublime: Peter Sagan once again putting on a show of panache. With three stage wins and a fifth green jersey already in the bag, the world champion had no need to go on the attack in the mountains – particularly with the opportunity of a fourth win, in Paris, just 24 hours away.

But Sagan did it anyway. This time working not so much for himself as his team-mate Kreuziger, who was knocking on the door marked ‘top ten’.

Of course, there could have been another explanation for Sagan’s presence in the break – along with the likes of Julian Alaphilippe, Pantano, Thomas De Gendt and Rui Costa: they were all up for the supercombativity award for the race’s most aggressive rider.

And with Sagan leading the break to a six-minute lead while picking up enough green jersey points to improve on his record tally from last year, it was duly announced that the Slovakian showman had won the award.

Another rider who showed true panache by going on the attack despite his crashing so cruelly on Friday’s penultimate stage in the Alps was Pierre Rolland.

Although before the Cannondale-Drapac climber could join the leading break he was rather unfairly reminded of his nation’s loss to Portugal in the recent football European Championships by an over-eager fan with a flag on the side of the road.

Pierre Rolland wrapped in Portuguese flag

Such a potentially perilous situation made up for Rolland’s blatant sticky bidon / motorised hand-sling moments later on in the rain…

When Rolland rode off with Costa in pursuit of lone leader De Gendt, it had many stretching for a cushion to hide behind.

But Rolland’s eagerness to face down his fears and get something from this roller coaster of a Tour did not go unnoticed by his admiring team manager, Jonathan Vaughters, who - in a tweet since deleted - said something bizarre along the lines of wanting to have babies with his rider, were he his girlfriend...

Meanwhile, reports were flooding in that Bauke Mollema, who dropped out of the top ten on Friday, had been distanced by the peloton. The general consensus was that the Dutchman was cooked - or was toast.

That he managed to fight back underlined the bravery of the Trek-Segafredo rider, who looked on course to stay in the top ten after attacking on the Joux Plane, only to be reeled in and passed by Joaquim Rodriguez.

The day, of course, belonged to Messrs Izaguirre – who won the stage – and Froome – who won the Tour. The latter doing so despite some rather sordid predictions from fans watching at home and out of the rain.

But while Ion Izaguirre saved Movistar and Spain’s blushes with a win, and while Chris Froome all but secured his third Tour in four years, the enduring image of the day will be Aru bonking on the Joux Plane.

That and Richie Porte doing a John Terry and gate-crashing the Sky party…

And finally, here are stage 20's best moments:

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