Battle of the Bosses: Arsene Wenger's five-goal obsession and Stewart Downing's beige malaise

Another 45 minutes like the first half and Danny Cowley would have thrown his name into the ring for the Arsenal job. Lincoln City trailed by just one goal at half-time of their FA Cup quarter-final tie at the Emirates Stadium, but then the Gunners showed why they are five divisions above their non-league opponents.

It was almost inevitable that this game would finish up with such a scoreline. It’s almost as if Arsenal can’t be involved in a match right now that doesn’t witness one of the two sides scoring five. The only question is whether they will be on the right or wrong end of it. This time, they were on the right end, which is just as well for Arsene Wenger. A five-goal loss to Lincoln would have seen him fed to Claude and Robbie outside the ground after full-time, captured and posted on YouTube.

There’s supporting your player and then there’s what Jose Mourinho did to stand up for Paul Pogba after Man Utd’s defeat to Chelsea on Monday night. The Frenchman was overrun and outshone by compatriot N’Golo Kante in the centre of midfield, but not in the Portuguese’s eyes.

“We have to be positive, the players were phenomenal but Pogba was by far the best player on the pitch,” Mourinho insisted afterwards, face completely straight. “He was a giant on the pitch. After him, all my other boys were fantastic.” Does he also think Eric Djemba-Djemba was a midfield monster? And that Massimo Taibi was a United legend?

Mourinho played so many minds games ahead of Manchester United’s FA Cup quarter-final against Chelsea it’s little wonder he remembered there was an actual game to be played. First he accused Antonio Conte’s team of only playing on the counter attack, then he told the world that United had no available strikers for the tie - Zlatan Ibrahimovic, out. Wayne Rooney, out. Anthony Martial, out. Marcus Rashford, out.

Except Rashford wasn’t out and appeared on the team sheet after being sneaked into Stamford Bridge. That’s something Mourinho has previous experience of, having once entered the ground in a laundry basket. Rashford didn’t quite have to hide or seek that much. This is the era of fake news, after all; Mourinho could just flat out deny the striker’s presence. “Nope, that wasn’t Rashford. That was someone completely different. It must have been Alex Hunter.”

It takes a lot to get angry at Stewart Downing. He is a footballing Mondeo Man, your average Joe. If each Premier League player could be defined by a colour on the wheel, his would be beige. As it turns out, though, Aitor Karanka isn’t much of a fan of beige, with the Middlesbrough boss and the winger involved in a blazing row before Saturday’s FA Cup clash with Manchester City.

Karanka reportedly told Downing upon omitting him from the match-day squad that he needed players he could trust. Well, it’s true that you can’t trust Downing to deliver a cross to the near post. Everything is sent looping to the back post, as if trying to drop the ball in a beer pong cup.

Tony Pulis has never suffered relegation from the Premier League. He is English football’s go-to guy for top flight survival, guaranteeing 40 points. The problem is that once he has reached that mark Pulis’ sides tend to go no further.

In fact, Pulis has won just five of the 37 Premier League games he has managed after guiding his team to the mythical 40-point mark. So West Brom’s 3-0 defeat to Everton on Saturday shouldn’t have come as a surprise having tallied up 40 points the week before. The Baggies players are already thinking of ordering their drinks at whichever pool bar in Dubai they will be visiting this summer.

It had all the makings of the kind of game Liverpool normally lose, or at least fail to pick up full points from. Burnley had taken the lead and Sean Dyche had celebrated through mouthfuls of gravel (or maybe it just sounded like that). The Anfield crowd was getting anxious, as were the players on the pitch, but Jurgen Klopp’s Reds managed to turn it round.

Liverpool claimed a 2-1 win to move five points clear of Arsenal in The Race For Top Four™, keeping the grin on the face of Klopp. The winter of discontent has lifted at Anfield. That’s not to say it’s any warmer on Merseyside, though. Roberto Firmino will be wearing gloves all the way to the end of the season.