Warm-Up: Brazil Olympic joy, Gabriel blow for Arsenal, Aston Villa out of League Cup
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Updated 11/08/2016 at 07:45 GMT
Jack Lang pilots the Warm-Up on a jaunt to South America, landing just in time to enjoy a comedy own goal and, erm, some Rick Astley
Gabriel and Neymar at the Rio 2016 Olympics
Image credit: AFP
THURSDAY'S BIG STORIES
Brazil’s men come to the Olympic party
It’s fair to say that Brazil’s Olympic football campaign got off to a ropey start – at least for the men. While Marta and co were tearing it up in the opening rounds, the boys kicked off with a dull 0-0 draw against South Africa, and then drew another blank against Iraq.
The players’ refusal to speak to the press after that second match didn’t help the mood much, with Globo commentator Galvão Bueno (imagine John Motson crossed with Sam the Eagle from the Muppets) leading the wave of criticism with an extraordinary rant on live TV. Neymar, who missed the Copa América in order to captain the side at the Olympics, took the brunt of the abuse from fans after two insipid displays.
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Gabriel Jesus of Brazil celebrates his goal against Denmark during the Rio 2016 Olympic Games men’s first round Group A football match Brazil vs Denmark, at the Arena Fonte Nova Stadium in Salvador, Brazil on August 10, 2016.
Image credit: AFP
The pressure was on, then, when the Seleção faced Denmark at the Fonte Nova in Salvador. But for once, it didn’t show: Brazil took the lead through a scrappy Gabriel Barbosa strike and the floodgates opened, further goals coming via Gabriel Jésus and Luan before Barbosa rounded off the scoring as the match ended 4-0.
[MATCH REPORT: Brazil find form as they down Denmark]
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Gabriel Jesus (L) of Brazil celebrates with teammate Neymar his goal against Denmark during the Rio 2016 Olympic Games men’s first round Group A football match Brazil vs Denmark, at the Arena Fonte Nova Stadium in Salvador, Brazil on August 10, 2016
Image credit: AFP
Next up for Brazil are Colombia, but greater challenges probably lie ahead: Germany are lurking in the draw, having put 10 past Fiji at the Mineirão – the site of a certain 7-1 win a couple of years ago...
Groundhog Day in north London
Oh Arsenal. You poor, hilarious mess. Football fans have long been able to set their clocks (or at least their calendars) by the Gunners’ annual springtime injury crisis/Champions League exit, but it looks as though alternative time-keeping methods will be needed this year, for things are coming to a head rather earlier than usual.
Laurent Koscielny is not yet match fit after his exertions at Euro 2016. That is understandable. But an injury to Per Mertesacker set alarm bells ringing in north London and now Arsene Wenger has confirmed that Gabriel Paulista will be out for up to eight weeks.
That means two things. The first is that Gabriel has a sense of humour: as recently as Tuesday, he was telling fans via his Instagram page that his ankle knock was “not a big problem”. Ah, well, yes… about that… ahem.
The second is that Arsenal’s back four in their season opener against Liverpool this weekend will be amusingly tin-pot, probably featuring Calum ‘Not Very Good’ Chambers and Nacho ‘Not A Centre-Back’ Monreal together in the middle, with Kieran ‘Can’t Think Of A Funny Nickname’ Gibbs on the left. They’ll probably try to sign another defender in the next few days (Shkodran Mustafi is on their radar) but it’s hardly a great way to start the campaign.
Funny though.
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Arsenal head coach Arsene Wenger during the MLS All Star Game joint press conference at the Fairmont San Jos
Image credit: Reuters
Toffees enjoy Ash Wednesday
Everton completed the signing of Wales stalwart Ashley Williams from Swansea on Wednesday afternoon. Happily, there was no #Pogback-esque hashtaggery from the Merseyside club, who announced the deal with the far more prosaic #WelcomeAshley and an image that looked like the cover of a doomed soul/prog rock crossover record.
Williams looked pretty chipper in the de rigueur sequence of video clips posted throughout the evening by Everton, but Ramiro Funes Mori’s short attention span should ensure the honeymoon period doesn’t last too long.
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Retro Corner
It’s 58 years to the day since Ferenc Puskas signed for Real Madrid, so here’s a brief video of some of the Galloping Major’s best moments for the club.
Stunning strikes aplenty – and the soundtrack makes a nice change from the regular brain-melting YouTube highlights fare as well.
Heroes and Villains
Hero #1: Cristiano Ronaldo, who returned to Real Madrid duty on Wednesday after an extended break and wasted no time in reasserting his ludicrousness, posing for cheesy photos and doing that weird tucky thing with his shorts during training.
La Liga defenders hoping he would be facing a spell on the sidelines after limping out of the Euro 2016 final are currently crying into their cereal.
Hero #2: Whoever came up with this:
Villain: Aston Villa crashed out of the League Cup at the hands of Luton, with the game’s most memorable goal scored by defender Jores Okore.
It was a cool, cultured finish from the Dane which gave the keeper no chance. The only minor flaw is that it came at the wrong end of the field.
Hat Tip
Not many people know more about Pep Guardiola’s coaching prowess than Xavi, who blossomed into one of the modern game’s most influential players under the new Manchester City manager. So it’s well worth reading the midfielder’s take on his former boss over at the Guardian.
Oh, and Euan Marshall’s Gazetinha videos about Brazil are always worth a watch, if only to bear witness to his pioneering (but nutritionally questionable) cigarettes-and-bar-snacks-only diet:
Coming Up
Bristol Rovers play Cardiff in the League Cup at 7.45pm and there are a couple of games in the Olympic men’s tournament (Japan vs Sweden, Colombia vs Nigeria) later in the evening. Not exactly a banquet of football, but enough to keep you out of trouble.
Tomorrow’s Warm-Up will be hosted by Tom Adams’ impeccably maintained beard, provided the Arsenal injury crisis doesn’t strike him down first.
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