Soporific Arsenal, weak Manchester United - neither wants to go fourth it seems

Between 1997 and 2005, Arsenal v Manchester United was as thrilling a contest as existed in sport, featuring some of the best and most intense football ever played, anywhere. This was never going to be that, or anything approximating to it.

Walking towards the ground, Lad beseeched Dad.

“Enough of Wenger, I’m bored of just getting into the top four.”

“But the next bloke might be worse.”

“So what?”

Game, set and match: Lad.

Inasmuch as it’s possible to lump together tens of thousands of individuals – and it is worth noting that the furious online attention-seeking is performed only by a tiny percentage – the exchange reflects sentiments widespread among Arsenal fans. There is weary resignation at the predictability of that which is meant to be unpredictable, weary resentment at wanting rid of a man they love, and weary apathy at everything. It is true that supporters of most clubs would kill to win “only” two FA Cups in the last 13 years, but Arsenal are not most clubs. Their standards are different to those of Southampton, West Brom and Notts County, a reality reflected in what they pay to pursue them. As James once sung, “If I hadn’t seen such riches I could live with being poor.”

Arsenal did not leave the wonderful Highbury for the execrable Emirates to take pleasure in Leicester and Chelsea winning league titles, on the basis that they aren’t Tottenham. Yet they have not contended seriously since the move, because sometime around 2006, Wenger forgot the essence of what makes a champion of England: pace, presence, variety and lunacy.

And they began today in soporific style while United knocked the ball around like they knew what they were doing following Thursday’s excellent performance in Vigo. But as is often the case, they could not score – just ten times in 34 league games have they managed a goal in the first half-hour – and understandably lacked cohesion, given that of their five automatic selections, only Ander Herrera started. Of the others, Antonio Valencia stayed at home, while Eric Bailly, Paul Pogba and Marcus Rashford were on the bench. This made some sense, because unreliable though Liverpool are, United are too unreliable to punish them, and as such have no choice but to prioritise the Europa League - though omitting players of that quality would hamper a decent team too.

Nonetheless, United had plenty of talent on the pitch, particularly in attack – they just struggled to penetrate. For Juan Mata, the game was an opportunity to regain match fitness after nearly two months out, while on the other flank, Henrikh Mkhitaryan was too deep and too insipid. When he was first allowed to play this season, he made a mockery of Mourinho’s decision to ignore him for so long, but in recent weeks, has mustered very little. When he is at it, there are few better attackers in England; when he is not, he is useless.

All over the pitch United were weak, playing like players constantly told how tired they are – though of those who started, only David De Gea, their goalkeeper, and Ander Herrera, their best player, have started more than 40 games this season; next is Mata on 31. But Herrera aside, only Axel Tuanzebe, making his first start, competed like he meant it; he will surely be back in the side before the end of the season.

Mourinho was also more directly culpable for United’s poverty. Against Chelsea – whose 3-4-3 is slightly more considered than Wenger’s desperate attempt at misdirection – he fielded two strikers, and took advantage of space left in the corners. Today, though, he left Anthony Martial – not really a centre-forward, even less a lone centre-forward – facing three men with hardly any support. It was not entirely obvious quite how he intended United to score.

So Arsenal gradually eased themselves into the game, and thereafter looked the more likely scorers. Danny Welbeck was about to shoot, only for Herrera to nip in and tackle; Aaron Ramsey forced a fine save from David de Gea; and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain’s deflected shot forced a hurried clearing punch.

United did earn a number of corners, devoid, as usual, of all the skulduggery for which Mourinho is famous; but without a single player able to send over a workable cross, perhaps there’s nothing he can do. Indeed, it was from one such situation that Aaron Ramsey nearly scored, Wayne Rooney’s delivery so poor as to initiate a break, and it was also Rooney who spurned United’s best chance of the match. Played in by Rob Holding, when Petr Cech went down early he need only have lifted the ball over him, but instead rushed a shot which was smothered behind.

After half-time the game experienced a lull in its lull, until Arsenal took the lead on 54 minutes. Granit Xhaka shot from distance, Herrera turned his back, and the ball cannoned off it, flying over De Gea and in. And shortly afterwards, the game was over, Oxlade-Chamberlain crossing superbly and Welbeck pulling off Chris Smalling to crash home a header. The surrender for fourth place continues.