The Warm-Up: David Moyes saves himself, us all by stepping down

Since 2013, David Moyes has signed three managerial contracts which should have been worth a cumulative total of 11-and-a-half years. Over the three jobs, he’s actually worked a total of 32 months. Sacked by Manchester United, sacked by Real Sociedad, and now he’s resigned after ten months in charge of Sunderland, in which he’s overseen a relegation with broadly the same squad that Sam Allardyce kept them up with.

And yet it’s not so much the relegation, more the crushing, downbeat ennui of the last season in which Moyes has constantly looked like a man who was told five minutes previously that his dog had been run over. He started the season by saying Sunderland were probably going to go down, then said in January that any players they brought in probably wouldn’t make them any better, somehow escaped the sack after threatening to/joking he was going to slap a female reporter, and then to top it all embarrassed himself further by faciliating John Terry’s leaving do against Chelsea this weekend just gone.

The question now for Moyes is: where next? Something has broken in what used to be a piercing, fierce and successful manager, a man who at Everton had an air of authority and gravitas but is now reduced to an apologetic shrug of a manager. The Scotland job might be available soon, which may be just as well because not many clubs are going to touch him in the near future. This isn’t just your typical resignation, but it could be the last we see of Moyes for some time.

Still, if nothing else the public will be spared the sight of a man unravelling in the full view of cameras, journalists and 40,000 angry Mackems.

Oooooh, he’s a tease, isn’t he? Antoine Griezmann, the name you’re all going to be thoroughly sick of hearing in the coming weeks through repetition in the transfer gossip pages, was on French TV last night and was, inevitably, asked about his future. Specifically, whether or not he’d be moving to Manchester United, to fulfil those dreams of participating in drab 1-1 draws and being passive-aggressively criticised by Jose Mourinho.

“I think we will know in the next two weeks,” the striker told French show Quotidien. “It is possible. On a scale of one to 10, it would be a six. [Staying at Atleti] is a seven out of 10 chance.”

We’re not sure the maths really work there, but we can’t be bothered to work it out. Frankly, we’re going to be hearing enough from Antoine in the next few months, so we’ll just move on from here.

A quick line from League Two now, and Portsmouth are a step closer to lining up alongside Mickey Mouse, Goofy and Donald Duck as being under the control of former Walt Disney big cheese Michael Eisner.

This is significant not only because of the potential for weak puns, but also because Portsmouth are currently a fan-owned club, but a vote among those fans – or ‘presidents’, as we should technically be calling them – has broadly agreed to the sale.

A Portsmouth club statement read: “Seventy-five per cent of the Presidents have voted to sell their respective stakes in the club, representing 32.9% of the club’s equity.

“Together with the Portsmouth Supporters Trust’s 48.5%, this means 81.4% of the club’s equity holding is in agreement with the sale. The threshold to approve a sale, as laid down in the shareholders’ agreement, is 75%.”

Who knows whether this will turn out to be good or bad for Pompey, but it is something of a shame that one of the few clubs in England with a significant stake held in it by fans is now just the same as amny, many others.

Jesse Lingard seems like a good egg, doesn’t he? Here he is confirming that status, getting a whopping round in at the Hotel Football bar. Reports that this was suggested to him by a G.Neville of Cheshire cannot be confirmed.

Hamburg have never been relegated from the German top flight, but they’ve been bloody close a few times recently. So you can understand why their fans were rather relieved that they escaped once again, avoiding a relegation playoff by the very skin of their teeth by beating Wolfsburg with an 89th minute goal at the weekend. And one fan was so relieved that, in the ensuing celebrations and pitch invasion, he nicked an entire goalpost.

Want to know what’s up at PSG, and why Unai Emery could be out on his backside? Let Andy Brassell enlighten you.

As we’ll now be starting the build-up to the biggest game in Manchester United’s history, Wednesday’s Europa League final, here’s highlights of the very first UEFA Cup final, also involving an English team. Two of them, in fact, as Wolves were bested by Tottenham Hotspur.

Think there’s no football to enjoy this evening? THINK AGAIN! We’ve got Benevento v Spezia in the Serie B playoffs for a start, and a quick check on Wikipedia suggest neither of those two have ever played in Serie A, so…that’s exciting. England are also in action – well, the under-20s at least, but that might well be over by the time you read this, as they kick-off at 9am UK time. Still, let us know how they get on, yeah?