The Warm-Up: Pep Guardiola wins but is grumpy anyway, and the Mike Dean Show
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Updated 03/01/2017 at 08:19 GMT
Pep Guardiola wins but is grumpy anyway, and the Mike Dean Show. Plus Jurgen Klopp seems to object to the concept of penalties, while a fan spots a rude word.
Pep Guardiola will mit 60 Jahren kein Trainer mehr sein
Image credit: SID
TUESDAY’S BIG STORIES
City win, Pep’s grumpy anyway
It’s odd how people get reputations and they stick. Pep Guardiola, the famous aesthete and idealist of the game, isn’t usually thought of as a man who indulges in ‘mind games’, but one wonders how his reaction to Manchester City’s 2-1 win over Burnley on Monday would have been categorised if it came from another manager. Naming no names, of course.
City beat Burnley thanks to a pair of goals from Gael Clichy and Sergio Aguero, after Fernandinho was sent off in the first half for a wild, choppy foul, a decision which angered most inside the Etihad. But what angered those present more perhaps was the performance of their team, a nervy, uncertain affair that in the end they were a little lucky to escape from with all three points.
After the game, Guardiola gave an interview that could be best described as ‘narky’, giving only clipped and monosyllabic answers to perfectly reasonable questions, throwing in some teenage sarcasm as well. In some ways, you have to admire a man who doesn’t confine such reactions to mere defeats.
Of course, Guardiola is not a performing monkey. His job is not to be pleasant to journalists, and he very clearly regards his media duties as a chore at best, if not a honking few minutes of torture when he’d rather be doing absolutely anything else. But this is a man who thinks about things an awful lot, so it’s tough to believe he didn’t consider the consequences of being grumpy with the media: could he have snarked it up to draw attention away from his team’s performance? If it was the bloke across town…
Are United good agai…actually, never mind that – it’s Mike Dean!
Speaking of whom, Manchester United won again. That’s eight in a row in all competitions, 13 games unbeaten and they haven’t lost in the league since that hosing by Chelsea in October. Juan Mata and Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored the goals, but Marcus Rashford was arguably the game-changer, setting up the first with a penetrative run through the West Ham defence.
But of course all of this is preamble when the star of the show is involved. Mike Dean was the referee, and produced a masterclass, firstly ensuring the attention was on him by dishing out a dubious red card early on in the game, then carrying on like…well…like Mike Dean. Observe:
As instructions go ‘Don’t look at me’ is up there with the time the Warm-Up’s younger sister complained to our parents that ‘he looked at my egg’. Childish, surreal, petty. What a man.
Klopp objects to the concept of penalties
Liverpool most certainly are good again, but in some respects they were lucky to escape their game against Sunderland with a point. The final score was 2-2, goals from Daniel Sturridge and Sadio Mane scrubbed out by a brace of penalties scored by Jermain Defoe. And what’s more, Defoe could have emulated Ronaldo against Argentina in 2004 by scoring a hat-trick of penalties, if a fairly clear handball against Emre Can had been given in the first half.
Weirdly, Jurgen Klopp didn’t particularly dispute either penalty decision, but did seem to object to the very concept of two penalties being awarded in a game. “I must be honest it doesn’t feel good,” he said. “Sunderland got a point because of two penalties in a game. It is usually hard to get one. But to get two! The free‑kick [leading to the second], that was harsh and hard to accept but obviously I have to accept. It’s not the worst mistake in the world by the referee but it’s so hard to accept. Referees have a really hard job – but two penalties. Ah, that’s hard.”
IN OTHER NEWS
Sensitive grass reported in the Luton area
We must protect our wildlife. The natural world is the greatest resource we have. Did nobody see that episode of Planet Earth with the locusts? Free the grass!
Do you know what that sounds like!?!??
Great when you discover something funny, isn’t it?
HEROES AND ZEROS
Hero: Zlatan Ibrahimovic
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Zlatan Ibrahimovic scores Manchester United's second goal against West Ham
Image credit: Reuters
As most of the English football world complains about the dangerous absurdity of playing so many games in such a short space of time, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, aged 35, simply does not give two flying ones. He has now missed just five games all season, played on Saturday, played on Monday, and has 12 goals in his last 12 games. Hats off, old man. Hats off.
Zero: Fernandinho
For all the huffing and puffing from Guardiola and complaints that it shouldn’t have been a red card, Fernandinho has only himself to blame for jumping into a routine challenge. There was clear air between him and the ground, he used both feet – what exactly did he think was going to happen? And what benefit does using both feet in a challenge have anyway, if not to cause harm to an opponent? Perhaps there’s a rogue tackling consultant somewhere in Manchester, sitting back satisfied after his two clients – Fernandinho and Marcos Rojo – carry out his instructions to a tee.
HAT TIP
Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s contribution was the garnish rather than the main course but compared with the kind of nourishment he had proposed for some onlookers earlier in the week, it still went down rather well. His had been a supporting part in a Manchester United performance that offered little more than fits and spurts before the game-changing introductions of Marcus Rashford and Juan Mata that terminally stretched West Ham United, but the 35-year-old Swede possesses a knack of having the last word at will. His first goal of 2017 showed once more that time’s passage means little when a showman is doing as he always has.
Continuing the Zlatan appreciation society, here’s Nick Ames over at the Guardian.
RETRO CORNER
Who remembers the last Swedish legend in his thirties to come over to Manchester United and show everyone else how it’s done? Set aside half an hour and watch this documentary about Henrik Larsson’s time at Celtic, explaining what a hero he was and what an impact he made on British football.
COMING UP
The football just keeps on comin’. Tonight’s three Premier League games fall firmly into the category of ‘I’ll watch them if there’s nothing else to do’, which in many ways is perfect for the first working day of 2017. Arsenal travel to Bournemouth, so expect some sort of Eddie Howe-Arsene Wenger comparison/love-in, while Crystal Palace face the cursed Swansea, while Stoke host Watford in one of those games that still makes you think, ‘Nah, just doesn’t sound like a Premier League match’.
Tomorrow’s Warm-Up will be brought to you by Alex Chick, another hero defying the ravages of time to lead us to a better place.
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