The Warm-Up: N’Golo Kante and Chelsea (in memory of Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Marcos Rojo)

You, as an upstanding member of society who goes to bed at a reasonable hour on work nights, almost certainly missed the PFA Player of the Year Awards. The ceremony took place, as usual, at silly o’clock on a Sunday evening, just as a special end-of-season treat for journalists.

We start, then, with a public service announcement from the Department of Foregone Conclusions: N’Golo Kante won the main gong. The Chelsea midfielder saw off stiff competition from Eden Hazard and… erm, that’s actually basically it, to claim the trophy, to the surprise of pretty much nobody.

Elsewhere, Dele Alli got the second stamp on his Young Player of the Year loyalty card (win five, get one without even having to play!), Lucy Bronze was named PFA Women’s Players’ Player of the Year and the legendary Kelly Smith scooped the PFA Lifetime Achievement award.

The best part of the evening, though, was probably this interview with David Beckham, who is so clearly holding a massive grudge about the whole having-to-wait-ages-for-a-knighthood thing. His answer to the first question in particular positively drips with subtext.

Kante’s award was the cherry on top of an excellent weekend for Chelsea, who reached the final of the FA Cup by beating Tottenham in a thrilling semi-final on Saturday.

A day out at Wembley was enough to convince two of the Premier League’s best defences to let their hair down, resulting in a helter-skelter match that will live long in the memory. There was free-kick sorcery from Willian, Heung-Min Son hilariously trying to be a wing-back, Hazard settling the game off the bench… it was great fun.

The second semi-final couldn’t quite live up to those standards, but Arsenal and Manchester City still produced a compelling game on Sunday. With control in short supply, this was basically football reimagined as drunken street fight – two bruised Goliaths swinging away and, just on occasion, landing a blow.

It was Arsene Wenger and his charges who eventually won the day after extra time, but not before Pep Guardiola had bent the space-time continuum (slash surprised The Warm-Up and other people who don’t really keep track of football’s actual rules) by making FOUR substitutions. Even when he loses, he’s an innovator.

They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but Jurgen Klopp would be forgiven a few sleepless nights as his Liverpool side sweat over their top-four spot. Christian Benteke went all Oldboy on his former employers on Sunday, helping Crystal Palace to a victory that will have given renewed hope to Manchester City, Man United and even Arsenal.

United will be feeling especially buoyant, having seen off Burnley earlier on Sunday afternoon to move to within three points of Liverpool. With nerves beginning to jangle, Klopp will doubtless be praying that the Manchester clubs both drop a couple of points in Thursday’s derby.

The Warm-Up would like to express sincere condolences to the families of Manchester United stars Marcos Rojo and Zlatan Ibrahimovic, cruelly struck down on Thursday night. The commemorative shirts used by Red Devils players before the game at Turf Moor really did bring a tear to the eye. Forever in our hearts.

It’s impossible, at this point, to contribute anything further than background noise to the ‘Lionel Messi is great’ lobby. It’s all been said before. To hell with it, though: what a bloody player. And what a way to reach the 500 goal mark for Barcelona, scoring the winner in El Clasico to breathe life into the Spanish title race.

Barca are now top of the pops in La Liga, and while Madrid still have a game in hand, Zinedine Zidane is going to have work around the absence of Sergio Ramos, dismissed at the Bernabéu after lunging in on… yep, Messi.

Where there’s Leo, there’s hope.

Here’s a comprehensive list of good reasons for Hector Bellerin having cornrows:

(1) Erm…

(2) Yeah, erm…

(3) OK, end this now.

Chillingly, the hashtag below suggests we might not have seen the last of this monstrosity, either.

The Twitter sensations of the weekend? These merry crusaders, who pretended to want a scrap and ended up getting a whole lot more than they bargained for.

The Warm-Up implores you to check out all the photoshopped replies to that on Twitter, but here are a few to whet your appetite:

Kudos, too, to BT Sport’s European Football Show team, who had The Warm-Up chortling with a knowing skit on the affair. That coat hanger! Deadly.

All eyes will be on St James’ Park this evening, with Newcastle United looking to seal promotion back to the Premier League. A win against Preston would do the job for the Magpies.

For you continental types, there are also games in Italy (Pescara vs Roma) and Spain (Eibar vs Athletic Club).