Football news - The Warm-Up: Barca's derisory Neymar bid destined to end horrendously

A list of words that are only used in one context:

End of list.

The word derisory only gets lobbed about during transfer windows. However, today, Friday July 19, 2019, it is fully and wholly applicable because the €90 million plus the cabal of jokers that Barcelona have reportedly offered to PSG for Neymar is completely and utterly DERISORY.

The Liga club have offered up two of Philippe Coutinho, Ousmane Dembele, Ivan Rakitic, Nelson Semedo, and Malcom plus, according to Sky Sports, one unnamed player, or in other words, players they do not want and can't find anyone to buy. Absolutely scandalous. Filthy. PSG will not want to lose face here and will quite reasonably want to recoup nearly all of their outlay on Neymar.

Now with the greatest respect, there is no way that a combination of Philippe Coutinho (been horrendous at Barca), Ousmane Dembele (never lived up to the inflated price tag), Ivan Rakitic (getting on a bit), Nelson Semedo (a right-back? Do The Warm-Up a favour), and Malcom (just not good enough) is going to amount to the €130 million required to hit the magic €220 million. Ergo bid is derisory.

Anyway, whether The Warm-Up likes it, PSG like it or some Culés like it, Neymar Jr. is returning to Barcelona and get your house on it; fear not dear reader, especially you Leon Sturridge, that inside information does not come from Daniel Sturridge so none of us will be up for insider trading, and banned from balling for six weeks, four weeks of which might be suspended.

All bad joking aside, and the above 'joke', was bad, real bad, it is inevitable that Neymar will return to Barcelona, a prospect that just a few months ago looked impossible. Yet here we are: Barcelona want it, Neymar wants it and PSG appear to have begrudgingly accepted it.

However, that transfer will leave Barca with Antoine Griezmann, Lionel Messi, Luis Suarez and Neymar vying for three places in Ernesto Valvrede's team. Now call The Warm-Up a cynic but four of that four won't be happy sitting on the bench - Suarez had shown an appetite (smiley face, smiley face, lol) for confrontation when he ain't happy, Griezmann and Neymar have - or are in the process of - forcing through moves to the club when they weren't happy, and Lionel Messi, for all his humbleness (even a word?), gets proper aggy if he does not play. Conclusion? This is going to end horrendously.

You know there have been some serious sheets expended when Real Madrid run out of said sheets but that is where we are. Real Madrid have - after firing sheets out left, right and centre this summer - no money to spend on Paul Pogba. Los Blancos have spent serious sheets on Eden Hazard (€100m), Luka Jovic (€60m), Éder Militão (€50m), Ferland Mendy (€48m) and Rodrygo (€45m) meaning Paul Pogba, who was previously looking for a fresh challenge, now appears to have settled on the challenge that he was previously a little bit tired of.

Anyway, for fans of a transfer saga, this looks like it has some legs. Pogba wants to leave, Real Madrid want to sign him and Manchester United will let him leave at the right price. However, alas for Pogba, United and Real Madrid, Real Madrid have run out of money. So that means this one is done for THIS window. Therefore, expect Pogba to roll out the 'I need a new challenge' gibberish as soon as Florentino Perez has re-stocked the old sheets. So, get the winnings from the above Neymar tip on to Paul Pogba making the Real Madrid switch in 2020. It is happening. No doubts.

Algeria take on Senegal in the Africa Cup of Nations final on Friday night and, dear reader, it can be watched live on Eurosport and the Eurosport Player here. Lovely. The match pits Riyad Mahrez against Sadio Mane once more. However, as Gary Al-Smith points out in his definitive preview of the final, the game has a myriad of narratives running though it.

The tournament has produced some scintillating moments - and here are the best goals from the tournament.

Want to see more? Get yourself over to the Eurosport Player.

Mauricio Pochettino has still got it. And apparently according to some of the comments beneath the post that 'it' is called sauce.

Your knee has gone chap - you are the Fiat. Wind it in.

What do you mean you didn't click on the above hyperlink for Gary Al-Smith's definitive final preview. Click below. Now.

As mentioned above, it is the final of AFCON with Algeria facing off against Senegal at 20:00 UK time. However, before that it is all cycling; first up it is La Course (08:45) followed by the ITT at the Tour de France (12:30).