A day in the life of... Zlatan Ibrahimovic

7.05am: Ibrahimovic wakes up and turns off the alarm on his gold iPhone. On the back he has had it personalised, with a laser etching into the surface pictures of his greatest moments: goals for PSG, goals for Sweden, for AC Milan and a picture of the hospital he was born in. He had plans, once he retired, to buy the hospital and preserve the room in which he was born for posterity, and turn the rest of the hospital into a museum. The museum would record his greatest achievements, and he believed it would serve to inspire the surrounding area, who would see all his good work and try to recreate it.

He started to wonder if it might serve another purpose. That others would see just how excellent Zlatan was, and be intimidated, but he quickly corrected himself before he started to feel pity for those who could not keep up with him.

Realising he has now been considering the possibilities of setting up his own museum for the best part of five minutes, he realises he needs to make breakfast for the rest of his family. He rings a bell from his bedroom to let them know they should get ready to receive him in the kitchen.

7.10am: He’s still thinking about the museum.

7.15am: He’s still thinking about the museum, and all the Zlatan dolls he’ll be able to sell.

7.25am: Ibrahimovic walks confidently down the stairs to the sound of cheering and applause from his family, as has become his favourite family tradition. He waves for the applause to stop, but the family redouble their efforts, long knowing that his humble showing is a ruse in order to encourage further praise. The applause picks up again as he froths the cappuccino with elan, and reaches a peak when the croissants, which he made from scratch for the family, are served on a silver platter.

8.15am: After washing, he calls his dressers to choose a suitable outfit and dress him as he stands. It is a little difficult compared to most days, as his earlier hospital reverie has put back the schedule to make things tight. As such, the man brushing his teeth gets in the way of the other two who were putting on his shirt and suit, but Ibrahimovic understands that, unlike on the football pitch, it would be unfair for him to expect the same level of excellence that he provides from everyone else around him. ‘Normals’, as he calls them, are treated by him with respect.

9.00am: He instructs his chauffeur to take him to the training ground as the team have their last training session before their Champions League tie later in the week, and notes that he failed to congratulate him for becoming PSG’s top league scorer. It’s not that he needed the attention and praise from everyone around him, he just resented that those around him sometimes failed to give him the recognition he deserved. It puts him in a miserable mood, but it reminds him of something he needs to discuss with Laurent Blanc after training.

12.15pm: After his own, personal session of extra training, where he scores 600 overhead kicks consecutively, each from 40 yards out, moving from left to right on the pitch to ensure any eventuality is covered, he heads up to Blanc’s office for their meeting before the match, and so Ibrahimovic can get something off his chest.

Ibrahimovic prefaces his point with an acceptance that while he is no longer at his peak, it is with Blanc’s assistance that he continues to be the greatest player at the club and in the world. “That’s why,” he continues, “I cannot understand why Edinson Cavani acts in such a way around me.”

12.20pm: For five minutes, Ibrahimovic stares off into the distance before finishing his sentence, with Blanc knowing that any interruption is forbidden in the contract PSG have with Ibrahimovic. When Ibrahimovic finally stops thinking about those dolls again, the two resume talks.

12.27pm: Blanc is surprised, given Cavani has never failed to work hard for the side, even if he hasn’t had success as others might have hoped for, even Ibrahimovic, and says as much in return. And so, Ibrahimovic explains:

“It’s not his effort on the pitch that concerns me. I understand that with me as the focal point of the side, other players must sacrifice themselves to make sure I can carry the side as best I can. The problem though, is given all I do for the side, why does Cavani - and others, you included, having thought about it - think he can look me in the eye?”