Ole’s at the wheel but the car is ‘rancid’

Sunday was an exceptionally good day for Tottenham Hotspur Football Club. Having lost 11 games this season, they remain, inexplicably, in third place in the league with just four games left to play. Now, Spurs are there more by luck than judgement and that luck being that Arsenal and Manchester United are horrible at association football. Horrible.

Now United have been largely horrible at football since Sir Alex Ferguson left way back in 2013 (more on Arsenal in a bit). United have sought the guidance of David Moyes, Louis van Gaal and Jose Mourinho to try and break this cycle of horridness. All, to different degrees, have failed. That perhaps indicated that the issue afflicting the club ran deeper than the manager. Apparently not. No, all the club needed was a manager who understood the ethos of the club, which, to the Warm-Up’s mind, seemed a pretty easy ethos to get one’s head around: win in style. Why didn’t Moyes, Van Gaal or Mourinho just do the ethos thing?

Step forward Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, who, understanding the ethos of the club, did the ethos thing and took United on a barely-believable ethos understanding run of 10 wins in their first 12 Premier League games with the Norwegian at the helm.

This run prompted the club to appoint the 46-year-old on a three-year deal. On the surface of things, it seemed a sensible decision but delve a little deeper and, by a little deeper, the Warm-Up means – and look away now gammons – at Manchester United’s XG (that’s expected goals). United were outperforming their XG. This meant at some point they would regress to the mean.

Here is how the concept of XG works.

See, understanding the ethos of a club helps (definitely and greatly). However, if ultimately the innards of the club are sort of rotting, well, that will cause the club the long-term issues that lead to a four-goal mauling at Everton – a performance so bad, Gary Neville called it 'rancid'.

The club has needed a structural overhaul for years – or at least a Director of Football – but Ed Woodward has shown little appetite to abdicate any sort of power. However, until he does Manchester United will probably remain in a cycle whereby they lob money and managers at problems that aren’t really sorted by lobbing managers and money at them.

The structural issues at the club have led to structural issues within the team; United currently have a collection of expensive players who do not fit into the cohesive framework of a team. Their excellence as individuals can lead them to a sustained period of success – like Solskaer’s start at the club – but eventually, those structural issues will see the team regress to the mean, or, in other words, their XG.

So, to conclude, this has been a bad weekend for XG truthers.

…runs a close second to a failed reality TV star being leader of the free world on the list of things the Warm-Up can’t get its ample head around. His performances at Arsenal are not befitting of a Word Cup winner.

Yet, there is clearly a very decent, if not elite footballer in there. It just has not worked at Arsenal and by the looks of things probably never will. At this stage it is best for all concerned if the 27-year-old moves on from the club.

He was again at fault for one of the goals in Arsenal’s 3-2 defeat at the hands of Crystal Palace at the Emirates on Sunday in a defeat that could prove a fatal blow to their hopes of returning to the Champions League.

The errors have been so frequent and so glaring that it is hard not to feel sorry for the German. However, he is not good enough for this Arsenal side.

Alas, either Manchester City or Liverpool will be decried as frauds come May 12. Look, the Warm-Up neither makes nor enforces the rules, just merely observes them. It is, alas, how the world works.

However, City and Liverpool are putting on a title run-in for the ages.

Liverpool last dropped a point on March 3 following a scoreless draw with Everton while City have not dropped a point since their 2-1 loss at Newcastle on January 29. JANUARY. This is not normal.

These are two championship worthy teams going toe to toe but, as already stated, the Warm-Up doesn’t make the rules, one of the managers is an absolute fraud. Check back here on May 12 to find out which of these massive frauds is a fraud and which is not a fraud until they become a fraud the following May (probably).

Big Dave is hungry for that knighthood.

To delve into Troy Deeney parlance, the absolute cajones on this lad.

Turns out aging remedies were all sorts of crap about a decade or so ago.

Chin up, Manchester United fans, you’ll always have the memories.

Maurizio Sarri, the season’s en vogue fraud, sees his Chelsea side take on Burnley, where a win will take his team up to third the rampaging frauds.

Nick Miller, categorically not a fraud, will elevate you from your post Bank Holiday blues on Tuesday.