The Warm-Up: Bragging rights dead as a concept in north London
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Updated 06/12/2019 at 11:24 GMT
The Arsenal and Tottenham rivalry is dead as they are both tosh at football, Zlatan Ibrahimovic goes at Cristiano Ronaldo, and Corriera dello Sport should just apologise.
Arsenal's fans react
Image credit: Getty Images
FRIDAY’S BIG STORIES
Tottenham and Arsenal both totally turd at football
Tottenham's mini-revival under Jose Mourinho was brought to an abrupt end against a - by any measure - absolutely awful Manchester United side on Wednesday while Arsenal did the whole 'hold my beer' nonsense and took a 2-1 pasting off of Brighton and Hove Albion at the Emirates on Thursday night.
Put simply, neither of these entities can play football. The simple premise of the game is to put the ball in the other mobs' net more times than the other mob can put it in your net. At the time of writing, neither side are good at doing that.
That is unfortunate. What is more unfortunate is that both these sides are completely lifeless. There is nothing to them. If you're dog at football at least be fun. Be cavalier. Be something. As it stands, they are two inefficiently pragmatic sides - that right there people is what is called an oxymoron, a contradiction in terms and the result is that these lifeless fools are turd AND boring.
A horrible mix.
The upshot of this is that bragging rights are dead. Done. Gone. What is there to brag about? Nothing. DT has set up his own team things have got so bad.
The issues that blight both sides are not ones that can be addressed overnight. Both need substantial personnel adjustments but for different reasons, and neither board have shown the requisite acumen to get the desired players in.
Arsenal have not signed a decent centre-half in a decade while Tottenham are still without a functioning replacement for Mousa Dembele, who stopped being a functioning midfielder about two years ago.
Ibrahimovic takes aim at Ronaldo
Zlatan Ibrahimovic loves - no *loves* - Ronaldo Luís Nazário de Lima. So ahead of his return to Italy Zlatan, in true trolling Zlatan style, has heaped praise on Ronaldo Luís Nazário de Lima by taking aim at Cristiano Ronaldo.
"I will find the real Ronaldo in Italy? None of it! There is only one Ronaldo, the Brazilian!” the 38-going-on-12-year-old told GQ Italia.
“I think I’d go for Ronaldo. For me, he was an example of what football is.
Everything he did left you open-mouthed. The way he dribbled, the way he ran, the way he scored, he was a true phenomenon.
His nickname was El Fenomeno so Zlatan is not exactly reinventing the wheel, here, to be fair.
Now Ibrahimovic chats a lot of breeze. A lot. So sometimes, it is hard to wade between what is complete nonsense and what is not.
Here, though, he is bang on.
We haven’t had the opportunity to play together. He is different because it’s the result of training. It’s not natural.
Facts.
That front page was an outrage...
...to claim otherwise is a complete disgrace. And yet, here we are.
After publishing the below, Corriere dello Sport doubled down, with editor Ivan Zazzaroni releasing a statement defending the article by journalist Roberto Perrone claiming it celebrated the "magnificent wealth of diversity" in football.
Zazzaroni said: "'Black Friday', for those who want to understand it and can understand it, was only praising diversity, taking pride in diversity, the magnificent wealth of diversity. If you don't understand it, it's because you can't do that.
It's an innocent article, perfectly argued by (journalist) Roberto Perrone, that has been made poisonous by those who have poison inside them.
It seems to be the way of the world now, not admitting fault at all about anything. Madness.
Top tip: when in the wrong, admit that fact, try to become better and grow. Nobody is infallible but when, intentionally or unintentionally, making a massive - generous description incoming - error that is hugely offensive it is best to just try to atone for said error.
Don't double down.
Also, it must have taken remarkable restraint from both Chris Smalling and Romelu Lukaku in their responses to the above outrage.
They shouldn't have to.
IN OTHER NEWS
It is probably time to admit that Marco Silva is not a good manager. On the list of managers that it might be time to admit aren't very good is probably also David Moyes.
Someone might want to tell the lads doing the hiring and firing at Everton because they have fired one not good manager and are about to appoint another not good manager.
HERO AND ZEROES
HERO
Strong photoshopping game, here:
Strong.
ZERO - going to be VAR again
Does not work.
HAT-TIP
On the subject of teams that were formerly good and are now cack, Mark Ogden from ESPN details how and why Manchester United are also a horrendous footballing outfit.
HE'S EITHER A CLOWN OR A F---ING GENIUS," David Moyes suggested to a member of his coaching team after an early meeting with Ed Woodward, United's newly appointed executive vice-chairman, in July 2013.
"Heralded as the "Chosen One" after signing a six-year contract as Ferguson's successor, Moyes was led to believe that big moves were underway to sign Gareth Bale, Cesc Fabregas and Cristiano Ronaldo. Woodward even told him that the club were just waiting to press the button on whichever deal he wanted to do.
"Moyes had already pulled the plug on a move (set up by Ferguson) for Barcelona's Thiago Alcantara because he was unconvinced. Having worked within a tight budget at Everton for 11 years, Moyes earned the nickname "Dithering Dave" because of his habit of painstakingly assessing every potential signing, but Woodward was now giving him the chance to play fantasy football for real."
RETRO CORNER
It is, in the Warm-Up's humble yet almost always correct opinion, a crying shame that when one types Ronaldo into Google or other associated search engines that the first returned response is not Ronaldo Luís Nazário de Lima. Nope. It is Cristiano Ronaldo.
Therefore, as a public service the Warm-Up is providing a direct link to his brilliance:
COMING UP
Is the weekend. There is a lot of sport on the horizon by nature of it being a weekend, with the UK Championship taking centre stage on Eurosport - follow that on Eurosport and Eurosport Player.
Taking the reins from Marcus Foley on Monday is Marcus Foley.
Scan me
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