The Warm-Up: Arsenal's Kool Aid vending machine and Tottenham's Toby tax

Ivan Gazidis is clearly enjoying every second of his sudden ascent into the public eye. Now Arsene Wenger is out of the way, he obviously sees massive growth potential for his personal brand, and was determined to squeeze every little drop of goodness from yesterday’s unveiling of Unai Emery.

“Every coach in the world would be interested in this position,” he said after presenting Arsenal’s new head coach (that’s head coach, not manager) to the press. “We believe there is not a position in world football that is more attractive than Arsenal Football Club.”

Well, The Warm-Up doesn’t like to be catty just for the sake of it, but off the top of our heads: Barcelona manager, Real Madrid manager, Manchester City manager, Bayern Munich manager, Paris Saint-Germain manager, Manchester United manager, Juventus manager, Brazil manager, Spain manager, Liverpool manager, Germany manager…

The list is actually fairly… WAIT, we forgot France manager! Sorry. That’ll do for n… Liverpool manager!

Where were we? Ah yes, that Kool-Aid vending machine at the Emirates. You could almost hear its mounting effects on Emery himself as he took sips between sentences:

“This team is a big team, with big players, and we think we need to change little things – a few players,” the Spaniard said, honestly. BIG SIP OF KOOL-AID.

“The target is to be a candidate and to challenge for the title.” MMMM LOVELY KOOL-AID.

“It is very important for the club…” KOOL-AID! “…to be the best club, the best team in the Premier League.” OK, ONE MORE GIGANTIC SWIG OF KOOL-AID, JUST FOR LUCK.

[Burps] “…and also in the world.”

Has there ever been a week of more managerial movement? Surely not, and yesterday brought fresh grist for the Premier League rumour mill with a change in the dugout at Napoli.

Carlo ‘Just Get On With It Lads, I’ll Be On My Chaise-Longue’ Ancelotti is the new man in charge at the Sao Paolo, but far more relevantly Maurizio Sarri – kind of like an Italian Pep Guardiola, only far less politically progressive – is now on the market and making pretty come-and-get-me eyes at Chelsea.

Full disclosure: The Warm-Up wants this one to happen, purely so we can use “When Harry Met Sarri” as a section heading the next time the Blues play Tottenham.

Chris Smalling. Phil Jones. Eric Bailly. Victor Lindelof. Marcos Rojo. Daley Blind. What do these players have in common, aside from the fact that Jose Mourinho seems not to trust them?

The answer, of course, is that none of them is as good a player as Toby Alderweireld, so it’s no major surprise that Manchester United appear to be going after the Spurs defender this summer.

The Daily Mirror report that Tottenham will be looking for what is now called “Virgil van Dijk money” – £75million to you and me – even though the Belgian could leave for £22million in a year due to a clause in his contract. So that’s a solid £50million just for one season which does seem a bit… [re-reads that list of centre-backs, camera zooming in dramatically on the names] …actually, yeah, just let me get the chequebook now.

The World Cup is going to take pride of place in this section in the next few weeks, and rightly so: the beautiful game’s biggest carnival has birthed more memorable moments than you can shake a YouTube copyright claim at.

But it is The Warm-Up’s moral duty to balance out the sunshine and rainbows with a bit of grit, and so today we delve into one of modern football’s most bizarre episodes: Roy Keane’s epic fallout with Republic of Ireland boss Mick McCarthy before World Cup 2002.

“Mick, you’re a liar,” seethed the Manchester United midfielder in Saipan. “I didn’t rate you as a player, I don’t rate you as a manager, and I don’t rate you as a person. You’re a f***ing w***er and you can stick your World Cup up your a***.”

Miguel Delaney’s piece on Ireland’s “Diana moment” is well worth a read, but first make sure you drink in the simmering majesty of Keane’s anger on this TV interview, given soon after he returned home from South Korea:

I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND. CALL ME. OR TEXT. OR EMAIL. SERIOUSLY.

“Idea for a programme: Knowing Me, Knowing Du. Plot thus: Mesut Ozil teams up with fictional Norfolk DJ Alan Partridge to form the globe’s most potent analogy-conjuring duo, lending their incisive comparison expertise to journalists and novelists the world over for a reasonable fee.”

That’s David Hytner, writing in The Guardian, with a fascinating (and, y’know, not completely imagined) look at the power dynamics behind the scenes at Arsenal. Also very much checking out: Eurosport’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic special, which features essays by Tom Adams, Elko Born and others.

Forget Liverpool vs Real Madrid for just a moment, for there’s another big European Cup showdown to enjoy first: Lyon vs Wolfsburg in the final of the UEFA Women’s Champions League, which takes place in Kiev at 5pm UK time.

These sides have already met in the final twice this decade, and knocked out English opposition in the final four: Lyon overcame Manchester City and Wolfsburg saw off Chelsea. Still, at least we have some representation: England full-back Lucy Bronze is still in the running for some silverware, having joined the French club last year.