The Warm-Up: Timo Werner, Liverpool and the death of ITKs
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Updated 05/06/2020 at 08:26 GMT
“Obviously when I said he was joining Liverpool, it was a typo and I meant Chelsea”
Timo Werner
Image credit: Getty Images
FRIDAY’S BIG STORIES
Oops
How to be an ITK.
- Step 1. Steal a rumour.
- Step 2. Paraphrase details to enhance credibility.
- Step 3. Say with complete certainty that the deal will happen.
- Step 4. Delete all evidence when it falls apart.
- Step 5. "As I’ve been saying all along…"
While pseudo reporters were trying to one-up each other on Twitter, desperate to show they had the inside scoop, no one bothered to check if Timo Werner was actually joining Liverpool. It backfired spectacularly on Thursday evening.
Just hours before, we were treated to the ultimate bull**** headline – "Werner is already a Liverpool player in his head". Really. Others waded in, claiming he had turned down other opportunities in the Premier League to pursue a dream switch to Anfield. No one bothered to note that Liverpool had little intention of activating his release clause.
Then the Shyamalan-esque twist: Chelsea, not Liverpool, were closing in on Werner.
It turns out Jurgen Klopp had not spoken to Werner since Easter. EASTER. That’s despite multiple reports, 43,000 at a rough estimate, on a daily basis claiming the Leipzig man was certainly bound for Anfield.
Slowly, the ITKs creaked into action. Versions of "as I suspected, Werner is indeed off to Chelsea" shamelessly spread across Twitter. Suddenly, every reporter had the inside scoop on how Liverpool had become Chelsea by tea time.
The lesson here? Don’t pretend you know more than you do.
Revealed: PL fixtures
At last! With just 12 days to go until the Premier League’s return, we finally have a bunch of fixture dates to report. Liverpool could win the Premier League at Goodison Park on June 21, although that would rely on Arsenal beating Manchester City at the Etihad. Otherwise, mark June 24 in your diary as a day to avoid social media.
There are many, many games – each occupying a TV slot – so rather than fill this page unnecessarily, head here to see the list in full. Or see the tweet below to get a flavour of the opening week's action.
Five subs now allowed in Prem
Erm, that’s sort of it. *searches for filler content*
OK. Teams will still be limited to three opportunities to make substitutions during matches – plus half-time – while (according to a Twitter tiff we saw) you can’t make all five substitutions in one go. Oh, and you get an extra one if your FA Cup match goes to extra time. Expect Phil Foden to be the big benefactor as his five-minute cameos are increased by 120 seconds.
IN THE CHANNELS
The ultimate put down.
HAT TIP
Dear President Trump … While all of those animals are rioting and looting in the streets over something as petty and unimportant as justice and equal human rights for black people and who, for some ridiculous reason, seem to be upset at police doing their jobs by applying a little too much physical pressure in apprehending yet another black citizen who subsequently died in their custody – I realised no one has thanked you for the wonderful work you are doing. Keep it up!
Ex-Reading and Hull City full-back Liam Rosenior writes an open letter to Donald Trump in the Guardian – saying the US president's racism is so blatant he may be an "unwitting catalyst for overdue cultural change all over the world".
RETRO CORNER
On June 5, 1999, Paul Scholes became the first (and only) England player to be sent off in an international at the old Wembley Stadium. On reflection, he deserved two red cards for the first tackle alone.
COMING UP
You greedy bunch, always wanting more. But we bring good news: SC Freiburg take on Borussia M’gladbach in the Bundesliga at 19:30 tonight.
Marcus Foley will be here on Monday with a **big update** about Timo Werner
Scan me
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