Anyway, thanks for your company - see you Tuesday!
- 2nd Half
Denmark - Republic of Ireland
World Cup Qualification UEFA - 11 November 2017
World Cup Qualification UEFA – Follow the Football match between Denmark and Republic of Ireland live with Eurosport. The match starts at 20:45 on 11 November 2017. Our live coverage lets you follow all the key moments as they happen.
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That was a devastatingly awful game of association football, but we're nicely set up for Tuesday. Denmark will be disappointed not to have won but will know that if they can score at the Aviva, it'll probably be enough to take them to Russia. I'd have them as slight favourites - Ireland needed an away goal.
Full-time: Denmark 0-0 Ireland
Hendricks is coming off so tries to get as far away as possible, but eventually he has to go; Hourihane comes on.
This is easily the best part of the game. Eriksen's free-kick is headed away, Larsen races towards the loose ball, and shoots ... Christie has a wild swing, and sends it behind him for a corner which comes to nothing.
There shall be three added minutes.
Saaaaaaved Randolph! Larsen down the left, and what's this?! A decent cross! Poulsen is in the middle too, thumps a header goalwards, thinks he's scored .. but it's straight at Randolph, who tips over!
O'Dowda runs with it, Kvist hauls him down, free-kick Ireland, 45 yards from goal. Brady curls into the box, just what Denmark won't be expecting, Long flicks but from 12 yards, and Schmeichel saves easily.
Arter has cramp and is replaced by Whelan, whom everyone expected to replace the suspended Meyler.
They don't deserve it.
Brady picks the ball up in centrefield and jinks by a challenge or two, looking up to locate Long. But realising he's offside, instead he hammers a shot well over the bar because that's all we deserve.
The Fifa official is trying to placate Roy Keane; good luck mate.
Long wins a corner, the ref gives a goalkick, and Martin O'Neill does his nut because who doesn't want to see another ball welted into the box at no one in particular?
Kvist heaves into the box and by the by-line, Poulsen is up first, knocking down. No team-mate is arsed to get anywhere near him.
Is there a way both sides can fail to qualify?
Ireland win a free-kick. They decide to toss it into the box. Amazingly, it comes to nothing.
Brady takes a corner and the ubiquitous Bendtner leaps to clear. Denmark break, Arter pulls Kvist down, and the ref somehow refrains from flourishing the yellow that would mean a ban.
I'm already at home, but I want to go home.
Arter chases away with the ball and Bendtner gives chase - that is not a mistake - and accidentally treads on his leg. There's a shriek, but recovery is swift.
It's impossible to overstate how crap this game is.
Jorgensen spreads to Bendtner, who crosses from out on the right ... it's under the bar, and Randolph clutches easily.
Murphy, who I'm not certain has touched the ball even once, is off; Long is on.
It's .... TIIIIIIME! Bendtner is on for Sisto.
Ankersen gets in behind McClean and crosses ... but with Larsen poised, Christie hooks away.
Poulsen finds himself some space outside the box and outswings a low shot which passes just wide of the far post.
An interesting way of describing the dog's dinner served up here.
But actually, something nearly happens, Brady curling towards the far side of the box, where Bjelland misses his header ... but the ball is on Clark too quickly, squirting off to naewhere.
Arter barges Poulsen as they leap for a high ball, takes a flailing arm in the phizog, and wins a free-kick to batter into the box for little gain.
At least that lot had some who could actually play.
Change for Denmark: Poulsen for Cornelius, like for like.
But Denmark keep Ireland pinned, and Eriksen, on the by-line, crosses into Ward and forces a corner. It's cleared, and Larsen thrashes a shot fro edge straight into Christie's bonce. There's a pause while he's treated.
Kvist slides right to Ankersen, but his cross is into Ward and Brady clears.
Delaney drives towards the Irish box, slides a pass to no one, and Christie humps clear.
The state of all these playoffs, dear o'dear.
In commentary, Ray Houghton reckons Ireland can give Denmark problems if they show a little more ambition. i dunno - how are they getting enough possession to exert pressure? Roy Keane always said that Houghton's Ireland team could've done even better, if Jack Charlton had trusted their quality players to actually play some football.
Ireland pump a ball into the box, which O'Dowda heads up into the air and Eriksen takes things from there.
Sisto is wandering now and crosses from the right, a floater into the box; Christie is calm as you like in cushioning a header back home.
Denmark knock it about outside the Ireland box, but Hendrick zeroes in on Kvist and that's the end of that.
Jorgensen leaps to control a bouncing ball with his arm. Yes, it really is that thrilling.
Not much coming to pass here. The ball goes forward, the ball comes back. Ireland have no means through which to exert pressure.
McClean gains ground down the left, trying to do Ankersen on the outside. The ball ricochets back against him, he doesn't notice, and discharges sentiments when the ref gives the throw against him.
Kjaer crosses and Delanyet is up first, but a robust challenge from Duffy is enough to mess with his radar and the ball goes behind.
Same same. Denmark knock it about, Ireland sit deep.
Off we go again.
As scrappy a game as you'd expect, but Denmark have still created two brilliant chances and failed to take either. Ireland have barely threatened, but improved as Denmark lost their way in the final ten minutes of the half.
Half-time: Denmark 0-0 Ireland
Schmeichel has improved so much in the last three seasons. The way he forced Christie to do what he wanted there was excellent.
Superb from Christie, exploding past Larsen and nashing towards goal! But Schmeichel is out quickly, makes himself big - you might've seen the technique before - and blocks the shot, then Hendrick takes a touch when he ought to have hit it first time, and Ireland have a corner... which is useless.
Eriksen is flitting in and out at the moment, but here he is outside the box, guiding a pass towards Sisto, but Christie reads it and is in quickly enough to intercept.
Brady gets down the left and crosses towards O'Dowda, but by the time the ball drops for O'Dowda, Kjaer is right up in his grill to block the shot.
Shane Duffy is an excellent defender.
Ireland are sitting deeper and deeper.
Ireland haven't mustered a single attempt on goal yet. And they'll be feart that Denmark will create more, and eventually take one.
Fields of Athenrye is banging out ... and oh what a miss! Eriksen picks up a weak clearance from Clark and leathes a low shot which Randolph beats away ... hard enough so that the ball whizzes past those nearest to it, but straight to Sisto! He opens his body, relaxes into the shot, and guides it expertly inches past the post!
Jorgensen into Eriksen just outside the box, and he tries slipping through for Sisto, but amid the phalanx of defenders serried for precisely such a circumstance, one extends a crucial leg.
It's pretty quiet on the pitch, which is to say that things are going reasonably well for Ireland.
Not enough - he picks out Kjaer with a flat one, when surely he wants to find a head via a high one, and the ball is volleyed clear.
Ireland win a free-kick down the left ... what can Robbie Brady deliver?
Sisto takes the corner short to Eriksen, who drills into the nearest defender.
Ankersen takes a quick through which Kvist volleys into the box - Duffy heads behind.
Kvist twists a short pass back to Eriksen, who drives low with his left foot. it's not a bad effort, but from 25 yards, nowhere near good enough to tax Randolph.
Eriksen drives a low pass towards Cornelius, but Duffy intercepts and clears. Kjaer then comes over the top of Murphy, and Ireland have a free-kick just over halfway which they'll pump into the box.
Ireland can barely string three passes together here. But in general, they're keeping Denmark at arm's length.
66%-34% in possession so far. 0-0 in goals. Which matters more, you decide.
"Play really well and try really hard, everyone."
Ireland kick for territory and win a thrown down the right. Christie hurls it at Duffy, but Bjelland is up and Stryger Larsen saves the corner.
Headline writers the world over are hoping Bjelland makes a match-costing error.
Oh yes! Darren Randolph! Kjaer drills a fantastic crossfield pass from right to left, brilliantly controlled, in mid-air, by Stryger Larsen. It allows him to drill a shot, which Randolph gets down to, but can only put back into play! Cornelius is on it too, but goes for a firm sidefooter when laces or clever placement was required, and Randolph not only saves again, but holds on! Denmark are hitting a stride, though.
Ireland aren't pressing Denmark until they come over halfway. I wonder if their players are good enough to make a break count, though.
Jorgensen is pulling wide wherever possible, Jostein Flo-style, and Denmark are hitting him to knock balls down for Eriksen.
Nice from Denmark, Eriksen finding Kvist, and he drives a low pass into Cornelius, who runs it down the right of his boot to meet the run of Jorgensen, who anticipated the ruse but ran around the other side.
The bouncing has started around the ground. Denmark look pretty calm, as you'd expect from a side in the form that they are. Ireland are sitting back.
Denmark get it into Cornelius, inside the box, and he lays back for Kvist, who crosses towards Jorgensen ... Ireland get it away.
Ireland hump it into the mixah, where Cornelius is stationed to head away.
Duffy climbs over Cornelius, Cornelius backs in, free-kick Ireland.
Ireland set us away!
Denmark have seven on yellows, incidentally.
Fireworks pre-match, interesting behaviours.
The Irish belt out theirs, but the Danes go even harder, or at least, there are more of them.
The players line up and flares and smoke do their thing. Anthem time.
Here they come! The Parken is lively...
Kevin Doyle reckons Ireland will win 1-0. Course he does.
Similarly, weird to think Avram Grant managed to take Ghana to non-qualification.
And Morocco are there too. Weird to think Marc Wilmots made a mess with Cote d'Ivoire; who could possibly have predicted such a thing?
Eight Ireland players are on yellow cards. No problem, I'm sure.
I strongly recommend this.
Martin O'Neill says O'Dowda has pace and is playing well - he'll be in Robbie Brady's position on the right with McClean on the left. He then gets annoyed at questions as to why he's playing particular players but says Murphy scored twice against Moldova and all the calls are close ones.
We've just seen Thierry Henry's handball. It gets no less hilarious with the passing of time.
Sky are showing a montage of playoffs involving the teams. This song featured.
I've decided I do know what's going to happen: Denmark and under 2.5 goals. You're welcome.
Because why not. This was so, so good.
BREAKING NEWS: Kasper Schmeichel would like to play in a World Cup; more as I get it. He also said that he hopes Ireland think they only need to beware of Eriksen.
As for Denmark, Jorgensen is the surprise selection. But Ireland will mainly need to get a hold of Christian Eriksen, the best player on either side by miles.
So Martin O'Neill is going for an away goal here, picking legs and threat. O'Dowda comes in for his debut, replacing Meyler - he and McClean will be expected to lead breaks.
Ok, that's not entirely accurate - I've some idea. There are not going to be very many goals and probably not very much good football either, but so much the better. When it gets to situations such as these, intensity beats enterprise, I'd say.
Evening all. We're all a bit dry with how BIG everything has to be nowadays, but there's no doubt about it: this is absolutely enormous. And I've not the slightest idea what's going to happen.