The Warm-Up: Cavani calamity, Barca brilliance and the man who makes Gary Neville look like Jesus

Arsenal’s search for a truly world class striker has seen them linked with a host of players. We had the summer-long dalliance with Gonzalo Higuain (now on his third club since that 2013 saga); there’s the oft-touted but never-going-to-happen Karim Benzema thing; and of course there’s Edinson Cavani, subject of a gazillion Pemier League transfer rumours but still very much a PSG player.

Last night Arsenal got a first-hand look at what they could have won; a striker who makes Nicklas Bendtner look clinical, Theo Walcott look composed, and Olivier Giroud look like Gabriel Batistuta.

Kudos to Cavani for the unconventional tactic of looking entirely bereft of confidence after scoring in the first minute.

The Uruguayan has struggled this season but surely, like Romelu Lukaku on Monday, that first goal would open the floodgates?

Well...

Credit to Arsenal’s Champions League keeper (do you know how much the Warm-Up hates the concept of cup goalkeepers?) David Ospina for a fine performance, but Arsenal owe their 1-1 draw to the opposition number 9.

Like Cavani, Barcelona have looked just a little off their game this season. The Warm-Up puts this perception down squarely to Neymar and Leo Messi’s dreadful peroxide hairdos – in Messi’s case coupled with a beard that makes him look like Robbie Williams on the lash at Glastonbury ’95 (ask your dad, millennials).

Unlike Cavani, Barcelona scored seven times last night. They tore Celtic apart with an irresistible attacking display, reminding the Scottish champions that the downside of being in a Champions League with Barcelona is having to play Barcelona.

Brendan Rodgers grasped desperately for positives, settling for a sub-tweet at ex-Valencia boss Gary Neville: "There can be no embarrassment because they do that to much better teams than ourselves."

At least Moussa Dembele won’t lose sleep wondering what might have been had he scored his penalty. 7-1, Moussa.

Are Barça officially BACK? We don’t know, because as Rodgers says they do this sort of ruthless demolition half a dozen times a season.

This may come as a surprise, but get this: sometimes it rains in Manchester.

While the Warm-Up’s pampered, skinny-latte-hugging part of the country basked in a late summer heatwave, the North-West served up a rainstorm so biblical we can only assume Liam Gallagher spent all of Tuesday flicking V-signs at the Almighty.

The worst part if you’re a media member is the total lack of anyone to blame – so thank goodness for the minor disagreement over rescheduling. Borussia Moenchengladbach wanted 18:00 today, City could only get the staff for 19:45.

Cue ‘German Fury’.

Anyway, they’ll have another go tonight.

So much going on there, but the Warm-Up particularly likes ‘(not the Brazil forward)’.

Yesterday Nick Miller had a go at Gary Neville’s rather self-pitying take on getting binned off by England.

Why, Nick asked, should the FA invest more time and effort in a coach who has only been involved in failure?

The simple answer: because – from an England perspective – failure's all we’ve got.

Building a successful national team structure takes more than a couple of years – so to jettison coaching staffs based entirely on major tournament results seems both short-sighted and self-perpetuating.

Had England managed to stumble past Iceland into the Euro 2016 quarter-finals, Neville and Roy Hodgson might still be in place. Would they be better coaches? No.

The problem with a target culture is it stops people in charge having to think analytically about the job being done. I have no idea whether or not Gary Neville has what it takes to become a great coach, but if the FA had faith in him before Euro 2016, they should stick to their guns.

This goal has been gathering steam for a couple of days now... and deservedly so:

Here, for reference, is Messi having a go at blind football.

This, genuinely, is the name by which Kazakhstan Futsal goalkeeper goes. And here’s why:

Now this is a long read.

You may have seen the Fergie quotes alternately praising and taking shots at Jurgen Klopp, but UEFA’s entire 2015/16 Europa League Technical Report is surprisingly readable – albeit rather late to the party given this season’s competition started some time in early June.

Anyway, come this way for a full analysis of Sparta Prague’s admirable tactical flexibility. It’s a ripping yarn.

Club Brugge v Leicester City: It’s not exactly a glamour tie, but do watch Leicester’s Champions League debut as they travel to northern Belgium in search of their missing mojo.

Tottenham v Monaco: Spurs take over Wembley for the visit of Monaco.

Manchester City v Borussia Moenchengladbach: And the bonus ball is City’s rearranged game.