Lies, damn lies and player ratings: Rooney gets everything between 8/10 and 0/10 after awful display

First things first: discussing the level of England's performance isn't intended to take anything away from Iceland, every single one of whom's players deserved 10/10.

(Apart from the goalie, for losing his head and giving away a soft early penalty.)

But the fact of the matter is that the England display on Monday was arguably the worst ever produced by the nation's football team.

The infamous 1950 World Cup defeat at the hands of the USA might top it: that US team was entirely part-time and included a postman, a paint-stripper, a dish washer and a hearse driver.

But in 1950, England comfortably outplayed USA (by the USA's own admission) and endured one of those days when none of their shots found the target, while the USA struck with a "one-in-a-million" goal glanced into the net.

On Monday, England were utterly outplayed, out-thought and out-fought by their opponents.

The Times marked it accordingly, giving every single player 0/10.

Some commenters on the Tweet sharing those results have suggested that the marks were unfair and childish. In the case of some of the players - Marcus Rashford, for example - they make a good point.

But what's the alternative? The Sun attempted a more balanced approach... and ended up producing an even more absurd scoresheet, marking Wayne Rooney eight out of 10.

Eight out of ten for a display in which the England captain repeatedly gave the ball away, missed tackles and blasted passes miles too far? Insane.

The Guardiantook the middle ground, giving most players three or four out of ten. Rooney got a 5/10. Bizarrely Daniel Sturridge took the highest scored with 6/10, despite a bafflingly dreadful game of football in which he constantly tried ridiculous tricks, flicks and impossible passes that saw him gift the ball to the opposition. Every. Single. Time.

The Daily Mirror gave Rooney a 6/10. We can accept them sticking an extra point on his rating in recognition of a well-struck penalty kick, but we can't swallow their assertion that he "did what he could to get England going", when his most regular act appeared to be to slide the ball back towards Chris Smalling or Gary Cahill.

Daily Mirror ratings: Hart 4; Walker 6; Cahill 4; Smalling 4; Rose 6; Alli 6; Dier 5; Rooney 6; Sturridge 5; Kane 4; Sterling 5

As for the Daily Mail? They seemed to play it pretty fair. Which is to say they slammed everybody, but not too much,

And finally, there is the Daily Express. From the looks of things they toyed with the idea of zero-all-round approach, but in the end gave out a grudging handful of marks here and there.