The Warm-Up: Just when you thought it was safe… Big Sam’s back

Just when you thought it was safe to get back in the water…it’s BIG SAM!

Most people probably might have thought that Sam Allardyce was done. It wasn’t a great sign for a healthy future career that he left Crystal Palace in the summer seemingly because he simply couldn’t be bothered anymore. Which, to clarify, is absolutely not a criticism: he’s had a broadly successful career doing what he does, the England thing probably would have knocked him back a bit and, at 63, he’s certainly earned a bit of rest.

But now it seems we haven’t in fact heard the last from Big Sam, for he is in the running once more to be Everton manager. The point has been made that Everton’s apparent recruitment process is quite, quite mad, going from Allardyce to Marco Silva then back to Allardyce again, but if it’s someone to pull them together, tighten things up and probably play Phil Jagielka up top they need, then Allardyce is the man.

After initially turning them down because they were, quite frankly, fannying around, Allardyce is reportedly back in talks with Everton about being the man to try putting out their particular dumpster fire. He’ll have quite a job on his hands: they’ve shipped nine goals in their last two games against Atalanta and Southampton, they have a squad seemingly put together by a three-year-old throwing paint at a wall, and discontent is simmering. But if that sounds like fun to anyone, it’s Big Sam.

The dismissal of Vincenzo Montella as Milan manager didn’t come as a huge shock to anyone: indeed, people who pay closer attention to Italian football than the Warm-Up have wondered how he lasted this long. Perhaps not an especially palatable state of affairs, but such is the modern way of things, a sensible decision.

But then. Well, then as Montella’s replacement they appointed Mr Gennaro Gattuso. And, well. This has the potential to be either the greatest or the absolute worst managerial appointment of all time: as you’ll know Mr Gattuso does have a relatively short fuse, one of those ‘would slide tackle his granny to win a midfield tussle’ sort of players. And his managerial record is…modest, to say the least.

But who knows? Luis Enrique’s managerial record wasn’t too hot before he took over at Barcelona, and look what happened there. Sure, admittedly he had Messi, Suarez and Neymar while Gattuso…doesn’t…but funny things happen to club heroes when they take the manager’s gig. This could be great. Or, it could be absolutely awful. Either way, you’d be well-advised to stay tuned.

Now, as far as the Warm-Up is concerned, hoofing another footballer on the field of play is generally frowned upon. Call us triggered snowflakes if you want, but that would most certainly seem to be Not On. But Romelu Lukaku appears to have got away with one here.

The Manchester United striker had apparently been under investigation for aiming not one but two swipes at Brighton’s magnificently named Gaeten Bong, which the video evidence does appear to back up.

And yet the FA have taken a look, and decided that this is absolutely fine. Still, what is football if you can’t try to welly an opponent twice off the ball in the penalty area, eh?

In some ways you have to admire Japanese side Cerezo Osaka for ignoring such fripperies as good taste, animal welfare and basic dignity by having a monkey on a lead deliver their matchball this weekend. Still, they won, 3-1, so who’s laughing now?

Third time’s a charm. There are, to the Warm-Up’s knowledge, three statues of Cristiano Ronaldo knocking around: there’s one in which the, erm, groin area is rather generously proportioned, there’s one in which he looks like a melting Looney Tune, and then there’s now a third. And whadderyerknow, this one actually looks like him! Imagine that! This one is at the Santiago Bernabeu Stadium, and hats off to Jose Antonio Navarro Arteaga for actually doing your job properly.

After a decent proportion of QPR fans left their game against Brentford early, thus missing the two goals that salvaged a 2-2 draw for their side, manager Ian Holloway…well, he wasn’t entirely pleased.

Jack Pitt-Brooke of the Independent takes a look at Raheem Sterling, and how with Pep Guardiola’s help he’s having the season of his career.

We don’t like to see Milan like this. It’s just sad and reminds us that the days of our youth are long, long ago. Here they are in happier times, with all the goals on the way to winning the 1989 European Cup, soundtracked by, for some reason, Chicago.

Oh! Look at this! The Premier League! A rare midweek set of fixtures for you to enjoy here, and the main event is possibly the weirdest ‘local derby’ in the country, as Brighton face Crystal Palace in one that should be pretty darn spicy. Elsewhere Manchester United play Watford, it’s Leicester v Spurs and West Brom travel to Newcastle.