The Warm-Up: Kylian Mbappe latest, and why Diego Maradona never cheated

You find the Warm-Up in nostalgic mood this morning. Remembering a time when you could offer £161 million for an 18-year-old and be reasonably confident of getting him.

Not any more. Real Madrid have told Monaco they will pay the GDP of Kiribati for Kylian Mbappe, only to see the bid rejected while Manchester City line up a counter-offer.

Despite Monaco’s high-end haggling, it seems likely that Mbappe will end up in Madrid, and that the transfer world record will be not so much smashed as ground into sawdust and used to bulk out hot dog sausages.

This for a player who has played just one full season. Mbappe is considerably less experienced than Nicolas Anelka was when Real Madrid paid £22m for him nearly two decades ago.

Like Mbappe, Anelka had undeniable and exceptional talent, but failed in Madrid.

Mbappe seems unlikely to become Le Sulk Part Deux, but when you’re buying potential anything is possible.

On the flipside, it hardly matters what represents ‘value’ in Real Madrid's case as long as the new arrival makes them better.

And in 2032, when Son of James Chester retails at £1.3bn, there’s a fair chance we’ll all consider Mbappe a steal.

Some people find it hard to move on. The president of the United States keeps banging on about Crooked Hillary and an election he won almost nine months ago. Richard Keys won’t stop taking shots at Sky, six years after his departure – though of course, he’s much happier now. And Diego Maradona likes to talk about that time he helped Argentina beat England at the 1986 World Cup.

Expressing his support for VAR, Maradona helpfully pointed out that it would have ruled out his Hand of God goal. That, and any match official with working retinas.

“I thought about it and, sure, that goal wouldn’t have stood if technology had been around.

“And I’ll tell you something else: at the 1990 World Cup I used my hand to clear the ball off the line against the Soviet Union.”

Oh look, he’s right.

“It’s not just my goal in ‘86 that wouldn’t have counted. Let’s not forget that England won the World Cup in ‘66 with a shot that didn’t go over the line.

“Then it happened to them in 2010, when (Frank) Lampard’s shot crossed the line against Germany but wasn’t given. England had the ball and scored the goal they deserved, but Germany grew in confidence after that and it changed the match completely.”

It’s almost like he enjoys riling up the English.

Well, it’s not going to work.

Not only does the Warm-Up believe football history is better for that match at Mexico ’86 (did anybody really need to see Steve Hodge lift the World Cup?), it doesn’t even think the Hand of God was cheating.

Committing a handball is no more cheating, than straying offside or doing a foul throw.

All three are against the laws, and all three offences are duly penalised. It's foul play, not cheating.

And if you happen to get away with it, that's good news for you.

If you don’t like handballs, you need to summon the same outrage every time a player scores when he knows he’s offside or sees a team-mate pulling a defender's shirt as he powers in a header.

Until that moment, shut up and put measures in place for the laws to be applied more effectively.

Sweden snuck through to the knockout stages of Women’s Euro 2017 despite losing 3-2 to an already-eliminated Italy side.

They progressed thanks to Germany’s 2-0 win over Russia – both goals coming from the penalty spot.

13 Chinese Super League clubs have been told to clear debts or face a ban from the competition next season.

Well, that was fun while it lasted, wasn't it?

Debate raged yesterday over whether Alvaro Morata got an assist on his Chelsea debut yesterday.

Obviously the correct answer is we don’t know if Morata got an assist on his debut because his debut hasn’t happened yet.

Yesterday was an exhibition match of zero importance or consequence. He's been banging them in in training too, you know. So really he's got 37 goals in 4 games or something. Which is more than Lukaku.

Phil Bardsley played 18 times for Manchester United and left nine years ago.

On a quiet day of actual news, why not amuse yourself for 20 minutes scrolling through the Crap 90s Football back catalogue?

Having mentioned Nicolas Anelka, we could show you some thrillingly high-octane football or any of his 200-plus career goals.

But here instead is the France team going on strike following Anelka’s expulsion from the 2010 World Cup.

Women’s Euro 2017 continues tonight with Group C decided. Austria need a point against Iceland to reach the last eight. Switzerland must beat France to join them. It’s all live on Eurosport from 19:45 UK time.