Monaco Grand Prix: 'I'm going to pee in your seat', and Vettel reigns supreme

In the Ferrari garage. The slightly different stopping strategies for Sebastian Vettel and Kimi Raikkonen gave the German the edge. Mercedes had nothing in reserve to prevent the Ferrari team from securing their first Monaco win in a decade and a half.

Red Bull's Daniel Ricciardo was third, saying afterwards that he felt it was almost a redemption for missing out on a win last year having started on pole.

One star out of five. A harsh score, perhaps, bearing in mind he finished seventh having worked his way up the pack after that dreadful qualifying, but seventh place and its ensuing points is no good for the Brit when the championship leader is enjoying comfortable wins.

Thin on the ground for impressive overtakes this week, unless you like them theoretical and via the pit lane. Ricciardo and team-mate Max Verstappen are usually good value for this kind of thing, but the pair of them spent their afternoons tangled up in traffic and unable to shrug off Valtteri Bottas.

Well, it was the most notable move of a reasonably dull race, but it wasn't a good one. McLaren sub Jenson Button went down the inside and upended Sauber's Pascal Wehrlein - turning him upside down into the barriers and hilariously picking up a three-place grid penalty for his next race. Yeah, good luck with enforcing that, guys.

The slightly longer stint Vettel got out of his tyres made the difference. Ferrari are adamant that it was neither team orders nor a deliberate strategy to favour the championship leader. For his part, Vettel also insists he just got better pace out of his car.

Fernando Alonso was patched through to his temp Jenson Button before the race to tell him over the radio, "Take care of my car."

The response? "I'm going to pee in your seat."

Carlos Sainz, developing into a neat, courageous and reliable driver, and in sixth place today. Special mention to Sergio Perez, who had the fastest lap of the race. Those Force Indias have some serious pace.

Lindsay Lohan popped into the McLaren garage. Maybe her role in Herbie gave her a taste for motorsport.

Robert Lewandoski was there too, enjoying some time off.