Blazin’ Saddles: Tour de Farce – First to last for historic Etixx-QuickStep duo

It wasn’t exactly a ringing endorsement of Marcel Kittel’s chances of winning stage 16 in Bern – but when Tony Martin and Julian Alaphilippe launched from the peloton shortly after the start of Monday’s ride into Switzerland, no-one would expect the Etixx-QuickStep duo to lead the race for more than 170 kilometres.

Rider after rider – including practically the whole of the LottoNL-Jumbo team – tried to bridge the gap, and even a cohesive four-man chasing group, once one finally formed, was unable to make any inroads as the star duo opened up a maximum gap of six minutes over the peloton.

Alaphilippe later described his team-mate as a “special rider” and “huge champion” while claiming he was “suffering behind him” during their long break, during which Martin used his ITT pedigree to do the lion’s share of pacing.

Even during the stage, Alaphilippe could be seen joking to the TV cameras about his companion’s indefatigability.

It’s true that the ingredients were there for a coup. Firstly, Alaphilippe had some extra rocket fuel tucked into his jersey pocket…

Meanwhile, Martin himself had some extra motivation for making it to the end – at least, through the eyes of his British fans with a prior knowledge of the 90s comedy sketch bonanza, the Fast Show.

There was certainly a lot of dedication from Martin, who didn’t want any of the chasing riders to come and join the Etixx private party, nor did he want his team-mate to do any work.

All of which sparked the end for the four-man chasing group of Lawson Craddock, Nicolas Edet, Vegard Breen and Timo Roosen, who were riding along "chasse patate" all the way to the Swiss border, still some 100 kilometres from the finish.

Alaphilippe, who was in the main break during the previous day’s stage until an untimely mechanical scuppered his chances of victory, was first to pop, the French youngster hitting a wall on the only categorised climb of the day around 25 kilometres from the finish.

Caught and spat out by the peloton, Alaphilippe soon found some familiar faces in team-mates Iljo Keisse and Marcel Kittel as Etixx-QuickStep top and tailed the race.

Martin soon succumbed to the heat and fatigue, the German powerhouse swept up shortly after the climb after his titanic effort. It was fitting, then, that just over 12 minutes after Peter Sagan had secured his third victory of the race in a photo finish, our breakaway duo were the last two riders to cross the finish line in Bern.

The race organisers were clearly taken in by their show of solidarity and under took the unprecedented step of awarding both riders the combativity award for the stage – meaning both Martin and Alaphilippe were called up to the podium and will wear red numbers when the race resumes on Wednesday.

“It's a happy ending for us with that prize we can share,” said Martin. “It didn't work out for the victory but it's a big honour for us. This is the first time in history, I'm proud of what we did. The break was not as long as we expected but definitely harder. It was a bit crazy but if you don't try, you don't win. I hope the fans and the spectators enjoyed it.”

Meanwhile, the subplot of the stage was Fabian Cancellara’s emotional return to his native Bern just six days before the Swiss veteran bids farewell to the Tour de France for good.

The classics specialist used a special custom-decorated bike for the stage with classics tyres in anticipation of the final cobbled climb into Bern.

Not everyone was happy with Cancellara’s get-up, however.

And as the riders rolled out of Moirans-en-Montagne the big question remained…

Indeed, some fans felt that the Etixx-QuickStep sideshow was a mere hors d’oeuvre for the main course that would soon be served up by Spartacus.

Although it wasn’t Cancellara who attacked with 20km remaining but another former world champion in Rui Costa, the three time Tour de Suisse champion from Lampre-Merida.

It was all to prove immaterial, however. Costa would be reeled in before the finish while Cancellera would impress but only enough to take sixth place. Instead the victory – rather aptly – went to the man who is viewed as Spartacus’s natural successor in the peloton: Peter Sagan - although only thanks to a superior lunging technique than that of Alexander Kristoff.

It was the Slovakian sensation’s third win of the race and he did so in front of a bevy of animated spectators from his official fan club.

In winning Sagan also completed his 80th day in the green jersey – a jersey he has worn more frequently than his team colours since his debut in the race back in 2012.

The Slovakian also increased his points tally to 405 putting him well on track to breaking his record tally of 432 points from last year. His previous hauls are 431, 409 and 421.

It’s no surprise those fans are going crazy!

Tour de Farce will be back after Tuesday's rest day! Here are Monday's best bits...