Fight club

William Gallas, Robin van Persie, Theo Walcott - everybody gets
involved in the bitching, feuds and rows, and that is what makes Arsenal such a
great team.

Adebayor was joining the chorus of support for the beleaguered
Eboue after his treatment at the Emirates on Saturday, and the striker said everybody
at Arsenal is behind him. Preparing to stab him in the back.

Kolo Toure also threw his weight behind Eboue - causing him
to dive full-length across the dressing room - noting: "Sometimes,
when you come back from a six-week injury you cannot give 200 per cent."

Being the pedant that it is, ED would like to
point out that it is not only players coming back from injury who cannot give
200 per cent, but it won't bore you with another diatribe on percentage inflation.

It will bore you with a rubbish joke about
Roy Keane.

In today's Sun, sports psychologist Barry Cripps advised
Eboue: "He has to think what someone like Roy Keane would do. Keane would
have stuck up two fingers."

Then quit and spent several weeks walking his dog through
crowds of paparazzi.

Eboue rucked with Wayne
Bridge in the 2007
Carling Cup final and saw a straight red card for a studs-up challenge against
Manchester United in last season's FA Cup.

If there is one person he doesn't need to be more like, it
is Keane.

- - -

Darius Vassell was mugged on Saturday night, having a £15,000 watch and
£8,000 earrings stolen.

The incident came after the Manchester City Christmas party,
which included a seven-course banquet at a private member's club.

A witness told the Daily Mirror that the muggers saw Vassell
coming - exactly what the former England man did to City in 2005
when he extracted a £2 million-a-year contract out of them.

- - -

Early Doors didn't watch last night's Premier League game between West Ham and
Tottenham, but when it saw the result it immediately let out a disappointed
groan, assuming Gareth Bale had finally won his first league game as a Spur.

But no! Harry Redknapp was canny enough to go for Benoit
Assou-Ekotto and the record lives on.

After nearly a season and a half at White Hart Lane, the Welsh wizard has
been a part of six wins, but none has come in the league.

A warning to any managers buying players on the strength of YouTube
clips that being good at free-kicks does not make you a great player.

Here is his tale of woe in full:

Bale's Premier League record

2007/08

Manchester
United 1-0 Tottenham
Fulham 3-3 Tottenham
Tottenham 1-3 Arsenal
Tottenham 4-4 Aston Villa
Liverpool 2-2 Tottenham
Newcastle
3-1 Tottenham
West Ham 1-1 Tottenham
Tottenham 2-3 Birmingham

2008/09
Middlesbrough 2-1 Tottenham
Tottenham 1-2 Sunderland
Chelsea
1-1 Tottenham
Tottenham 1-2 Aston Villa
Tottenham 0-0 Wigan
Tottenham 0-1 Hull
City
Stoke 2-1 Tottenham
Arsenal 4-4 Tottenham
Fulham 2-1Tottenham
Tottenham 0-1 Everton

- - -

MOTIVATIONAL TACTIC OF THE DAY: Crystal Palace manager Neil Warnock, who joked
about putting a 'For Sale' sign around Shefki Kuqi's neck after he scored last
night, and said the Finn is useless "when he starts thinking he can play
football". And Sheffield United would have us believe it is Carlos Tevez's
fault they got relegated.

STAT OF THE DAY: Women from Newcastle are the biggest users of make-up, a
survey has shown. A staggering 93 per cent of Geordie lasses said it was a
must-have an a third said they would not leave home without any on. One in 10
ladies from the city said they wear "a lot" on nights out.

LOOK-A-LIKE OF THE DAY: What is Cat from Red Dwarf doing playing up front for Chelsea?

FOREIGN VIEW: Stop ED if you have heard this one before, but
Walter Novellino has replaced Gianni Di Biasi as Torino
coach. Di Biasi led the team to promotion in 2005/06 but was then sacked, only
to return at the end of the following season to keep them in the top flight. He
was replaced by Novellino, but came back in mid-season yet again to stave off
relegation. Now Di Biasi has been booted and replaced by Novellino after just
15 games - surely time enough for him to return for a fourth stint in spring. Di
Biasi and Novellino should get matching leotards made and form their own
managerial tag team.

COMING UP: It might not be much, but tonight's Chelsea-Cluj
game is all the Champions League excitement you're going to get this week. If Bordeaux win and Chelsea
don't, it's hello UEFA Cup for JT and the boys, and the first flight back to Rio for Big Phil. We have live coverage from 19:45 UK time. Also, Liverpool take on PSV as they try ever so hard to finish
top of their group.