A day in the life of... John Terry

[LAST WEEK: A day in the life of... Jose Mourinho]

8:00 John Terry wakes to the sound of his radio alarm, going off with Nick Grimshaw playing one of those famous rap songs that the young people like so much. Terry has been struggling with so-called popular music for a couple of years, but finally brings himself to do what he’s been reluctant to for some time now, and switches over to Radio 2. He feels a modicum of embarrassment, but no little relief to hear Chris Evans put on some nice Ed Sheeran, who he’s met a couple of times backstage, and he relaxes after a worrisome night ahead of the West Bromwich Albion game.

8:30: Terry walks down the stairs to get breakfast ready for his kids. He has never forgotten being Daddies Sauce dad of the year, and wants to become the first man to ever win it twice, such is his competitive nature. He sees them reading their iPad and laughing, and asks what they find so funny. “Nothing,” they titter, and he takes the tablet from them.

He sees that they are laughing at the jokes on Twitter made at his expense after his substitution last weekend against Manchester City, and takes the mocking in good grace. “That’s peak, Dad,” says one of the kids.

“Peak? What does that mean?”

“It’s slang, Dad. It means harsh or deep.”

Terry doesn’t really knows what either of those mean either, but he’s heard them used by the younger players in the Chelsea squad and didn’t think it sounded very positive then either. He knows he’s getting old, but he thinks he has at least one more season at the top.

8:45: After checking his emails on the tablet, including the tactical plan from the defensive coach telling him to watch out for Salomon Rondon’s pace, he suddenly remembers he needs to renew his life insurance, and opens up another tab.

Filling in the form he notices that he’ll soon have to tick the 35-44 age bracket in the online form and sighs. As he sighs dramatically, he feels a muscle in his back twinge, and he sighs again, carefully this time.

12:00: On the team bus on the way from the hotel to West Brom, Terry sits next to the new signing Pedro to welcome him to the team and talk about how the match should go, and what will be expected of him. He tries out his limited Spanish, picked up from team-mates and games in the Champions and Europa leagues, and wishes Pedro luck. He tries to input Pedro’s contact details into his new phone, but has to pass it over to Ruben Loftus-Cheek to do it, as he can’t quite figure out the changes to the new OS. Terry wonders when, exactly, a new phone upgrade became an obstacle to communication rather than something he looked forward to.

5.10pm: As he chases Rondon and the ball behind him, he considers his options. He can’t knee him in the back as he tried that time in Barcelona against Alexis Sanchez as he’d get sent off. He can't slide into in him because he knows he’ll get sent off, and he can’t keep up with him for much longer. He’d call for Thibaut Courtois but the keeper is slow off his line, and it’s too late anyway. A thought briefly crosses his mind of a similar situation when he made his debut in 1998, but as it does, he brushes against Rondon and sends him to the ground. He expects red and even he doesn’t think he can get away with shouting the odds at the ref this time. He walks off the pitch, and perhaps the most troubling thing is that Mourinho isn’t even angry at him. He walks down the tunnel to get changed.

7.30pm: On the team bus towards home, Terry usually thinks after a defeat about how he could have played better and how he could have made sure that the team won. This time though, he realises that the team won and they did it without him. Before, he might have been tempted to have a beer to relax when he got home and felt under pressure, but now all he can think of is a peppermint tea, a nice, calming bath, and some Radio 2.