The Warm-Up: Zizou is a genius/a buffoon for returning to Real
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Updated 12/03/2019 at 08:53 GMT
Plus Louis retires, exploding neck braces and a fitting tribute to Keith Flint
New Real Madrid coach Zinedine Zidane during the press conference
Image credit: Reuters
TUESDAY’S BIG STORIES
ZZ’s top again
It’s a binary world, nuance has been stripped from everything, you have to think one extreme thing or another, so why should the Warm-Up be any different? Thus, Zinedine Zidane’s decision to return to Real Madrid is either a shrewd piece of politicking by one of the game’s smartest operators, or entirely ludicrous and something that can only end in his unimpeachable reputation in Madrid being set on fire in the middle of the Bernabeu pitch.
The evidence for the former opinion is that, by Real’s standards, this is their nadir, having burned through two managers already since Zidane bowed out last summer, so he essentially has another free swing at being their manager. If he works, his deity status is maintained, if it doesn’t, well, it was a mess anyway.
But there is a whiff of a man who assumed he would get loads of juicy opportunities after leaving last summer, juicy opportunities that didn’t arise so he’s gone back to the team he left ten months ago, despite all the reasons he did one back then still applying, and then some.
And that’s not the only questionable call Zidane made, as you can see in his choice of pants…
The knock-on for this is of course that it’s bad news for Gareth Bale, who might have left this summer anyway but is even more likely to go now, and also Chelsea, as an apparent £300million transfer budget will be partly spent on Eden Hazard. But it’s good news for Tottenham, because there’s now nowhere especially logical for Mauricio Pochettino to go.
Ultimately though, this whiffs significantly of a really bad idea. Even with Zidane Real could continue to be a tyre fire, and let’s be honest: we’d all enjoy watching that.
Grealish assailant is sent down
Good news: Paul Mitchell, the goon who ran onto the pitch and whacked Jack Grealish around the head, is going to prison. Bad news: the 14 weeks he’s been sentenced to is, inevitably, being loudly questioned by people on Twitter who have no real concept of the UK legal system or sentencing guidelines.
This was of course an awful act that should be duly punished, but you do get the sense that people are overreacting very slightly, particularly former Welsh international David Cotterill, who suggested that police should be armed at games. Because the most sensible addition to the already combustible atmosphere of a big local derby is…a gun. Still, if the president of America uses that logic, it probably shouldn’t be a surprise that ex-Birmingham midfielders do.
What now for Juventus if they lose again?
The trouble with constant, unstoppable domestic success is that people eventually get bored of it and want something more. That’s been the case with Juventus for a few years now: yeah, yeah, another Serie A title, very good, what’s the next song?
The next song is of course the Champions League, the tournament they want, haven’t won since 1996 and have lost in the final twice in the last four years. But they’re in some trouble there, as they go into tonight’s last-16 second leg against Atletico Madrid 2-0 down and with quite a mountain to climb. Not that Max Allegri thinks it’s a huge deal if they do go out, mind.
The Champions League has always been an objective but it is wrong to say that it’s a failure if Juventus go out. I find that laughable… it’s just a football match. If we go through then that’s great, if not then we’ll try again next year.
Who believes him? No, thought not. There would be some sort of irony if, with their boogey man Real, the team who have knocked them out in the last two tournaments, already eliminated, Juve were knocked out by the other Madrid team.
IN OTHER NEWS
One man’s touching tribute to the late Keith Flint, from before the Southampton v Tottenham game on Saturday. He showed extra respect by doing up his trousers halfway through. #classytouch
HEROES AND ZEROS
Hero: Louis van Gaal
The old boy has announced his retirement, so enjoy one of his many very enjoyable media appearances.
Zero: David Cotterill
We’ve mentioned him once, but come on Dave. Why not go the whole hog and put exploding neck braces on every fan, so if they encroach then – BOOM!?
In fairness Cotterill did try to clarify his views….
…to simply ‘there should be guns, but people shouldn’t be shot.’ OK…
HAT TIP
Mister!” he called over to the bench in the forlorn hope that Juventus’ coach Massimiliano Allegri might change tactics and throw caution to the wind. When it didn’t happen, his lack of enthusiasm became evident in the half-hearted nature of his attempts to press the ball — more energy was spent venting his annoyance at the little service and support he received.
It’s all going a little bit squiffy for Cristiano Ronaldo at Juventus. James Horncastle has more for ESPN.
RETRO CORNER
With Zidane in the game once more, here’s highlights of that majestic performance against Brazil in the 2006 World Cup, his last great game in a tournament where it looked like France were carrying him for sentimental reasons. Welcome back, Zizou.
COMING UP
The Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmpiiiiooooooooooooons. Manchester City’s tie against Schalke is more or less over, so the really spicy one to watch is in Turin, where Juventus must overturn that deficit against Atletico. Plus there are some big ‘uns in the Championship to mull over too, so there’s plenty of choice available.
Tomorrow’s Warm-Up will be brought to you by the Zizou-esque balletic skill of Mr Ben Snowball.
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