Tottenham get ready to get interesting with Richarlison and are Manchester United about to do something? - The Warm-Up

Sometimes a transfer just seems like a good idea. If the word on the internet is to be believed, Tottenham are this close to picking up Richarlison from Everton. And there's something about the move that just makes sense.

Of course, pretending to know how transfers will work out is a game of opinions, and all of those opinions are based on more or less nothing. On vibes. On energy. On making up stories to pass the time. Still, we're feeling positive about the work that Richarlison can do at Spurs. Or, more specifically, the work he can do with Antonio Conte.

Do you see a similarity there? Not in appearance: Richarlison's haircut looks nothing like either of Conte's. But there's a shared sense of coiled tension about their work. You watch them and you know that either of them could, at any second, simply charge off into the distance and scream at somebody, or leap into their arms, or fall flat on their own face. This is something that Tottenham need more of.

Not the face-falling bit. But while the partnership of Heung-min Son and Harry Kane is unbeatable as far as quality goes, and Dejan Kulusevski has been an excellent foil for them both, throwing another more chaotic option in there as well makes Tottenham much more intriguing.

Conte's teams are well-drilled and well-organised, with attacking patterns hammered into them on the training ground, but at their best they shimmer and shiver within those structures. Think Eden Hazard drifting for Chelsea, or Lautaro Martínez dancing at Inter. And nobody in the Premier League vibrates at a higher frequency than Richarlison.

That Spurs can be written off as a polite bunch of lads is not entirely true, but it's one of those reputations that sticks around. And we have a hard time imagining any of the Tottenham first team doing anything daft-yet-photogenic with a flare: most of them would ignore it, while Harry Kane made sure it was disposed of in a safe and controlled manner. Enter Richarlison, stage left. He's a natural showman. It makes perfect sense.

It's not just Tottenham. It appears this season's must-have accessory for any aspirational club is a Brazilian that can play up front. Arsenal have already picked up Gabriel Jesus, the rumours suggest that Manchester United will be making a move for Antony at some point, and the even weirder rumours have Neymar being sent out somewhere. Anywhere. Do you need a Neymar about the place? Meanwhile Raphinha is at the centre of an almighty tussle between Chelsea, Barcelona, and Barcelona's increasingly wild-eyed financial department.

All of which means life is about to get very interesting for one man in particular: Tite, head coach of Brazil. Almost all of his Europe-based attacking options are moving, or affected by a move, or heavily rumoured to be surplus to requirements.

Brazil go into Qatar 2022 as narrow favourites with most bookies, albeit in a very open field. They also go in with a more-or-less settled front three of Neymar through the middle, falsely, and Vinicius and Raphinha on the left and right. Which seems pretty decent, and certainly good enough to win the thing.

But if Gabriel Jesus moves into the middle with Arsenal and starts scoring, that asks a question. If he strikes up a good partnership with Gabriel Martinelli, that asks another. Should Neymar move out to one flank or the other? Should Martinelli come in?

If all these moves go badly, and lots of transfers go badly, then that's a problem. And if Raphinha, Richarlison and Antony all get their big moves and respond well, rattling them in from the flanks: more (albeit better) problems. It's not impossible that Brazil go into the World Cup with every one of their attacking options in great form for their clubs, new or old, except Neymar, who in this particular made-up version of the future is stuck as PSG with nobody able or willing to pick up his wages.

Now, you don't drop Neymar. You absolutely do not drop Neymar. But… no. You don't even think it. Unpossible. Inconceivable. Heretical. No. But if the ideal situation for an internatonal manager is for their whole squad to be settled, happy and thriving, then Tite is currently looking at the total and precise opposite of that. Only five months to go!

At the earth's core, the seething metals reach a temperature of more than 5,000°C at a pressure of 364 GPa. That's "gigapascals", and no, we don't know exactly what that means, but it sounds impressive. But big as this number is, it has been surpassed in two locations. The first is under lab conditions, by scientists who were so busy asking whether they could they didn't stop to wonder if they should.

The second is the Manchester United transfer department.

All clubs have their fans. All clubs too have their transfer fans, found mostly online and on the radio, who understand a club's progress in terms of signings, the speed of those signings, the glamour and TikTokability of those signings. But at United this aspect of modern fandom is particularly pointed. This is a club that used to just click its fingers and summon the very best for the very most. More recently, it's been a money hose and a dumpster fire all rolled into one, expertly steered by Edward Woodward and his Big Book of Famous Players.

Put your ear to the internet and you can hear it: a dull rumble, the sound of liquid metals moving through one another in extreme agony. Do something, United. Why is it taking so long. Everybody else is making signings. Do something, United. Why is it taking so long. On and on, round and round.

We may not have long to wait. Per reports in the Guardian, the Frenkie de Jong deal is approaching some kind of agreement on all sides, while United's hijack of Tyrell Malacia is also nearing completion. That's not just something. That's two somethings. And so, soon we can expect the next stage: the earth cracks, hot lava explodes everywhere. Murtough Making Moves. Murtough Madness. Murtough Mayhem.

The big secret about transfer fandom is that it is utterly binary. There are two states: the misery of the deal not happening, and the total joy of the deal just done. The latter is spectacular and short, the former long and grinding. Executives are briefly heroes with iron handshakes and pens that write in fire, and then they sink back into vacillant ignominy. It is, it seems, an exhausting way to consume what is already an exhausting sport. But then, you've got to fill your summer up somehow.

Everybody's got their own theories on why Gareth Bale has chosen Los Angeles over Cardiff. More sunshine? Better golf courses? The ability to drift through one's garden, reach out a hand, and pluck a fresh orange the size of a very large orange? All wrong. He's off to start a bitter left-footed rivalry with LAFC's Kwadwo Opoku. Ping.

It's 26 years since football came home, then changed its mind and went off with Germany. Not one of the great finals, in truth, but absolutely one of the great fouls to open the scoring. Like a cartoon drawing of a penalty. And it lives on the record books as the first major international tournament decided by a golden goal, albeit one without much polish.

Some heavy lifting from the Guardian, who have produced a shiny interactive guide to all 368 players at Euro 2022. Did you know, for example, that Lucy Bronze "spent part of her childhood growing up on remote, windswept Holy Island - or Lindisfarne - off the north Northumberland coast," and "had the choice of representing three countries internationally"? Well, you do now. Scotland and Portugal's loss is England's gain.

At 11am UK time, Hibs will play a friendly against Burton Albion, and if you're at an astonishingly loose end you'll be able to watch it on their Youtube channel. Or you could wait until the evening, when England take on Israel in the final of the UEFA U19 Championship.