Wayne Rooney 'feared death' in darkest moments of drinking problem but kept problems a secret
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Published 10/02/2022 at 09:13 GMT
"Ten, 15 years ago, I couldn't go into a dressing room and say 'I'm struggling with alcohol, I'm struggling mental health-wise'" - Wayne Rooney has opened up about his struggles with mental health during his career, admitting that he feared 'killing someone or himself' during the darkest moments of his drinking problems.
Trainer Wayne Rooney und Derby County wurden nach der Insolvenz mit einem Punktabzug bestraft
Image credit: Getty Images
Wayne Rooney has admitted he "feared death" in his darkest moments as he opened up on his drinking problems and struggles with mental health.
The Derby County manager and former Manchester United legend was speaking ahead of the release of a new documentary about his life.
And, speaking to BBC Breakfast's Sally Nugent, he confessed to the many mistakes he feared he could have made.
He said: "That could have been girls, it could have been drink-driving, which I've done, it could have been killing someone - you could kill yourself - and that's a bad place to be.
"I knew I needed help, to save myself but also to save my family."
Footballer have been more outspoken about their struggles with mental health in the past decade, with a greater awareness in general about depression and anxiety.
But Rooney says that, during the peak of his issues, he was not able to discuss his problems.
"Ten, 15 years ago, I couldn't go into a dressing room and say 'I'm struggling with alcohol, I'm struggling mental health-wise'," he added. "I couldn't do that."
Rooney burst on to the scene as a 16-year-old and was recognised in the early stages of his career as a combative and aggressive striker.
And he also admitted that he would channel that aggression into fights as a teenager.
"We used to go up to Southport and fight a lot," said Rooney. "I've come back with my eye all stitched up. I was about 12."
"I remember I got my jaw snapped in Manchester. I was about 13."
But ultimately a young Rooney was one of the brightest young talents in England at the time, and he had to be reminded of that to stick on track and fulfil his potential.
"There was one day I was crossing the road with a bottle of cider," he said. "My coach Colin Harvey, he stopped to let me cross over. Next day, he pulled me in training and said, 'listen, you've got the biggest talent I've ever seen for anyone your age - don't waste it'."
Indeed, Rooney didn´t waste it. He became England and Manchester United's top goalscorer and won every domestic honour available.
And while England never achieved their potential in that time, Rooney says he remembers feeling like 'the best in the world' at Euro 2004 where he scored four goals and lit up the group stage.
"Their centre-backs were scared to go near me," he said of the match against France. "They could see physically I could handle myself against them."
"I just banged right into (Lilian Thuram), to his jaw, and looked back at him as if to say, 'now you know who I am'."
"I remember thinking, 'I'm the best player in the world'," Rooney reflects, adding: "I believe, at that time, I was."
But his titanic talent and trophy cabinet doesn't detract from how much the striker was struggling at the time.
He said: "As I said, I was never an alcoholic, I was more of a binge drinker, where, if I got two days off, I'd literally drink for two days and then dust myself down - eye drops, chewing gum, mouth wash - to go into work and then have to run around a pitch and train. I wasn't giving the best version of me to my club at times.
"I've spoken to people. It helped. You let your feelings out. I didn't do that - I held them in and then it builds up."
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