Football news - Jose Mourinho's three-finger salute stands for turgid third-rate Manchester United

While rozzers in Blackpool amusingly search for a thief who resembles David Schwimmer from Friends, in Manchester the hunt is on for a bloke who used to be Jose Mourinho. No laughing matter this one.

Mourinho is an impostor on the loose letting the world know that his greatest heists are stuck firmly in the past; a figure playing at being a United manager.

But do the club's fans really want to be suffering in these ever-decreasing circles, constantly being reminded that the Portuguese coach once won trebles at Chelsea and Inter? And United, when you include the infamous triple haul of Community Shield, League Cup and Europa League in 2017?

He is certainly not the same character who washed up at Old Trafford bright and breezy three years ago, promising a path back to the neoprolific Fergie age, a period in time when a meeting with Juventus saw United give us the old razzle dazzle at the Theatre of Dreams with greater panache than Fred Astaire.

Instead, £50m summer purchase Fred is left on the bench for the type of enlivening nights that once came alive under Sir Matt Busby and Fergie, but seem lost forever.

Mourinho has overseen a crisp net spend of £315.08m over the past three years, but appears to be as far away from the promised land as Moses.

United lie a flagging 10th the Premier League and are fodder for Europe’s blue-chip clubs when you analyse the galling 1-0 defeat to the Serie A champions.

When asked how far United are off Juventus, Mourinho’s response was both telling, damning and pretty darned unacceptable for such an institution.

“A bit far. Juventus are champions (of Italy) for seven years in a row, two Champions League finals in the last four or five years and (they are) not happy with what they have, they want more,” said Mourinho.

The question a United fan should ask is: why? How did it come to this for United? A club built on the meaning of glory - they even have their club song dedicated to the word - appear to have officially declared that they are happy to settle for torpidity.

Some of the blame can be laid at the door of chief executive Ed Woodward, but not all of it. Mourinho must front up to the fact that his signings have not worked despite the financial largesse. Yet excuses are made about United being honest triers.

Only Manchester City (€976m) and Paris Saint-Germain (€788m) have dedicated more than United (€786m) in Europe to build their current squad. United are a poor third when you consider Liverpool, Barcelona, Chelsea, Juventus and Real Madrid have all spent less on their assembly lines.

Three fingers from Mourinho represents third-rate these days. To listen to a Mourinho press conference is a bit like a Red Devil entering Hell: “Abandon hope all ye who enter here”. Dante’s Inferno without Dante at the back.

Manchester City are suddenly the benchmark for United, a club who were constantly reminded that it had been 35 years without a trophy until they lifted the FA Cup in 2011.

"In this competition you need something special, and still I don't feel it. I saw last season we are still not ready to win it. That's what I feel," said Pep Guardiola before his side filleted Shaktar Donetsk 3-0 in the Ukraine. The difference is obvious: Guardiola knows his side can conquer Europe while Mourinho appears resigned to a life less lived.

“To go to the Juventus level? Barcelona level? Real Madrid level? How can you reach that level? Manchester City level? How can you reach this level?” said Mourinho. “Juventus was in a different level of quality, stability, experience and know-how.”

Nemanja Matic, Juan Mata and Romelu Lukaku looked unable to cope physically and mentally at the game’s highest level against Juve, but the rest were largely impotent apart from Paul Pogba hitting the post in the second half. Paulo Dybala's goal proved the decisive thrust in a game that saw Juventus enjoy 60 per cent of the ball away from home.

Mourinho knew what he was getting into at United. It was not Derby County he was taking over, an outfit from the Championship in the same colours as Juventus who have also plundered Old Trafford.

“I prefer to focus on the giant club I have in my hands now,” said Mourinho in July 2016. “I think what the fans are expecting me to say is that I want to win. I think what the players need to listen (to) is I want to win. And more than that, I need the players and supporters to feel that I say that but I think we can really.”

The saddest thing as Paul Scholes, a double Champions League winner, pointed out is that “there seems to be an acceptance to it, not just from the players but from the fans also”.

Mourinho wanted to erase the memory of David Moyes and Louis van Gaal when he touched down in Stretford with as much fanfare as the Fonz, but is his tenure any better than those fallen figures of ridicule?

There will be plenty of apologists who will accept such guff until there is a pay-off. Arsenal fans eventually wised up to the fact that Arsene Wenger was managing in the past.

Mourinho, whose roll neck was better prepared than his team, walked the last half mile of his journey to Old Trafford on Tuesday night due to heavy traffic. At this rate, the last half mile of his time of his time at United might be harder to stomach than Andy Dufresne breaking out of Shawshank.