Ignore the Real Madrid hate, Gareth Bale is a football legend – The Warm-Up

Ask anyone not called Dafydd, Ffion or Owain to name their favourite Gareth Bale moment and you’ll get one of three answers: that hat-trick in the San Siro, that bicycle kick against a concussed Loris Karius, or that time he was forced into the crowd, grabbed a swig of a fan’s beer, and still made it back onto the pitch in time to smoke Marc Barta.

It is mega harsh that his career has been reduced to a one-word punchline – it’s always “golf” – given how deadly he was. He was the man who kickstarted Tottenham’s journey to becoming an (almost) elite force when he suddenly remembered he was allowed to sprint when Spurs were 4-0 down at Inter Milan in the Champions League. It was in this moment he also discovered the fatal weakness of the world’s best right-back, Maicon, and proceeded to retire him in one brutal 45-minute spell. His thirst for destruction unquenched, he repeated the trick for the full 90 minutes in the return match, and then continued to devastate defences as he earned a world-record transfer to Real Madrid.

Such is Bale's standing in the Spanish capital, you could be forgiven for thinking he crept into the Royal Palace of Madrid and made off with the crown jewels – and not played a massive role in Real's 10th, 11th, 12th and 13th Champions League titles. In 2014, he put Real ahead in extra time. In 2016, he tormented Atletico and scored in the shootout. In 2017, he was admittedly a bit naff but still played a role. And in 2018? You already know.

With the national side, he was never doubted. Wales always came first. He led his nation into their first major tournament since 1958 at Euro 2016, then – along with Peak Aaron Ramsey and Hal-Robson Cruyff – carried them into the semi-finals and within two wins of landing the Warm-Up a 1,000-1 bet on them winning the while thing. Gareth, thank you again for that ride.

But it often felt like he was constructed from papier-mâché, ready to fall apart the moment a defender blew on him. And by the time he led Wales out at the World Cup, it was clear he was no longer the player that could rip the game apart. His last notable act, firing Wales’ first goal at football’s biggest tournament in 64 years in Qatar, was a fitting end to a brilliant career that, however those in Spain want to remember it, was truly immense.

Forget that he has been hibernating since signing for £34 million in June. That it was League One’s Oxford United. And that for an hour, he and Arsenal struggled to do anything remotely exciting.

None of that matters after one devilish cross. Fabio Vieira, some 24 years his namesake’s junior, whipped the most perfect of deliveries onto Mohamed Elneny’s forehead and suddenly it was 1-0 and Arsenal had a new star. It was as though one kick of a football sparked a pop-up in his frontal cortex – “ah yes, I AM a professional footballer!” – and minutes later he was casually slipping the filthiest of passes through to Eddie Nketiah for 2-0.

If Arsenal are going to win this thing – and by this thing, we mean the Premier League and not the FA Cup – they are going to need more than the same 11 players on repeat. Nketiah is already stepping up in the absence of Gabriel Jesus and should anything, god forbid, happen to Martin Odegaard, then Vieira must extend his 45-minute renaissance to the big time.

Is there a stick used to beat a manager more than “killed Belgium’s golden generation” lashes down on Roberto Martinez? According to most of you, Belgium should have won the 2018 World Cup, the last European Championship and got out of their group in Qatar. And while that last failure is unavoidably bad, if Romelu Lukaku had gobbled up just one of the 1,000 chances presented to him, Martinez’s reputation wouldn’t be quite so muddied.

Now a new stick is on the market: “killed Portugal’s golden generation”. It doesn’t quite pack the same whip as the Belgium model, given Portugal won Euro 2016 and their greatest player is now playing in a league none of us will ever watch, but people are flocking to purchase it regardless.

But is Martinez really a step down from Fernando Santos? Who would you go for, given all the best managers are tied up in the club game and Jose Mourinho is presumably unavailable? Martinez was great at Swansea, turned Wigan into Arsenal’s Invincibles in February each year and even recorded Everton's best points tally in Premier League history before getting the boot.

Let's quit pretending that Belgium's golden generation deserved glory. It was a jumble of talented players, sure, but crucially, unable to peak at the same time between 2016 and 2022. Third at the 2018 World Cup and losing to eventual winners Italy at Euro 2020 is not a bad return. Nope, for us, Martinez is a good option to have a stab at unleashing this Portugal side. And if not, at least it will be fun.

Feeling left out, but not ready to pull the pin entirely, Bale’s former team-mate Hugo Lloris followed up the Welshman’s announcement with one of his own. The man with an impeccable record of diving the wrong way on 97% of penalties, yet somehow with an aura to convince Harry Kane to whack the ball into orbit, has stepped down from France duty with immediate effect.

He will be best remembered for lifting the World Cup in 2018, just moments after dropping the biggest clanger that didn’t matter at all.

To retire an opponent once is special…

…to do it twice to the same opponent in 13 days was unheard of, until Gareth Bale met Maicon.

Move over, FA Cup, and let the League Cup have a go. The Carabao Cup, as its sponsors prefer it to be called, steps into the spotlight as Manchester United face League One side Charlton and Newcastle United take on Leicester City.