MANCHESTER UNITED: De Gea; Rafael, McNair, Rojo, Shaw; Blind; Valencia, Di Maria; Mata; Falcao, Van Persie... Subs: Lindegaard, Thorpe, Blackett, Fletcher, Fellaini, Januzaj, Wilson

WHACK! Antonio Valencia flies in and catches Leighton Baines. Aside from the kick-off, United have barely had a touch in the opening couple of minutes.

Radamel Falcao rolls the ball to Robin van Persie. We're underway!

Everton’s official statistician – a quite superb job title – notes that the club have not beaten United three times on the bounce since 1921. Today they have the chance to end that lengthy run. Stand-in skipper Robin van Persie leads the United players out onto the pitch. Phil Jagielka and his Everton troops follow.

And some words from Roberto Martinez: "Their captain, Wayne Rooney, will be suspended for the game, but even then, the type of players they have, they are going to be very important for United for the months to come. But when you go to a place like Old Trafford it's being able to defend against the opposition well, but a big part of it is to be yourself and do the good things that you can do as a team. That's clearly our focus."

Here are Louis van Gaal's pre-match thoughts: "I have to say that I like Everton because they want to play football like I want to play football. It shall be a very interesting game. I know Manchester United lost to them twice last year so they're a difficult opponent. 'http://tv.eurosport.co.uk/search.shtml?query=I hope we can dominate the game but they want to dominate the game also. They are more allowed to play on the counter than we are so that's also the difficulty."

If you're on the website, you'll see a link to our Sunday Paper Round, which amazingly contains no Manchester United. If you're on mobile, you'll just have to imagine loose speculation about Raheem Sterling and Yaya Toure going to PSG, Paul Pogba to City and Iker Casillas to Liverpool.

Darren Fletcher might be leading the team out, but the United vice-captain on the bench today despite Ander's injury. Robin van Persie takes the armband this afternoon.

Elsewhere, Roy Hodgson is probably regretting some more awkward remarks - this time appearing to take a dig at Wayne Rooney's scouse accent. "Everyone knows Wayne is not the sort of person with his Liverpool accent who is going to be able to stand up in front of a lecture room of people." In fairness, though, that does explain John Bishop.

"I SHALL FINISH" Louis van Gaal has said he will definitely see out his three-year contract at Old Trafford. Oh, and who else can't get enough of the way he always says 'shall'? "I didn't have to come here to Manchester United. They asked me. And I will take United back into the Champions League yes, but not at once. There is a trajectory and a process of three years. I have signed a three-year contract. Believe me, I shall finish that."

EVERTON: Howard, Hibbert, Jagielka, Stones, Baines, Barry, Besic, Pienaar, McGeady, Naismith, Lukaku... Subs: Joel, Gibson, Eto'o, Oviedo, Osman, Browning, Alcaraz.