World Cup Warm-Up: Vlad all over, England team leaks

If you had armed Russia manager Stanislav Cherchesov with the knowledge that he would have been fielding a phonecall from Vladimir Putin mere minutes after Russia’s opening game of the 2018 World Cup, he might have made tentative arrangements to flee the country with his family. But thankfully for Cherchesov, President Putin was offering his congratulations after a 5-0 victory over Saudi Arabia which got the tournament off to a flyer in Moscow.

In fact, Putin’s booty call interrupted Cherchesov’s post-match press conference. “It was the head of state,” he said after stepping back to the table. “He asked me to share his thanks with the team for the performance that they put on and he asked me to keep playing like this.”

The question of whether Russia can keep this up is a pertinent one. The lowest-ranked side in the World Cup have Egypt and Uruguay to come, both of whom would have been salivating over a stupendously awful performance from Saudi Arabia, who seemed to disregard defensive norms at will. But for a Russia team which had been described as “s**t” in a preview on our site, and generated mountains of negative coverage at home and abroad, this was quite a result.

Losing star playmaker Alan Dzagoev to a hamstring injury in the first half was a cruel blow for the hosts, but sometimes on these rarefied stages unlikely heroes emerge, and so it was in the shape of Denis Cheryshev, who scored two absolute stonkers. The early frontrunner for the Golden Boot probably had an Oleg Salenko in him given just how bad Saudi Arabia were, but five goals were enough for Russia as they set aside any fears that the tournament would open with the hosts being embarrassed.

Putting aside the actual football for a second, the 2018 World Cup is already shaping up to be one of the most deranged sporting events in human history. If you recall, Spain sacked their manager on the eve of the competition after he arranged a move to Real Madrid – who yesterday unveiled him as their new boss in the Spanish capital about an hour after Sergio Ramos was trying to play down the whole farce in Russia.

Over in the French camp, the vibe is rather less chaotic – but Antoine Griezmann managed to bring a similar flavour of silliness to proceedings with the most ill-conceived TV show since Eldorado. Last night, Griezmann was the star of a mini-documentary called La Decision where he announced whether he would be leaving Atletico Madrid to join Barcelona or staying at the Wanda Metropolitano.

This vanity project was widely panned. As a huge basketball fan – so much so that he recently blacked up to go to a fancy dress party as one of the Harlem Globetrotters; never let it be said that Antoine Griezmann doesn’t know how to generate good PR – the forward should have known the terrible response to LeBron James’ own ‘The Decision’ show. Such overt narcissism is never a great look, particularly on the day the world's biggest football jamboree gets going.

No one really knew what Robbie Williams was doing as the star attraction at a World Cup opening ceremony in Russia. Last seen dousing his hands in sanitizer after being touched by the great unwashed during a New Year’s Eve show, the former Take That went viral once more – all while apparently dressing up as Morrissey.

After performing some of his most famous songs – again, why? – Robbie decided to flip the entire watching world the bird. The World Cup Warm-Up could be generous and interpret this as a subversive protest against Putin’s autocratic and oppressive regime which treats human rights with all the seriousness that Saudi Arabia treat defending. And, well, human rights.

But we all know better than that. Clearly, Williams was reminding the world of the one, proud World Cup England have won. Or perhaps he was marking the final time he will ever be trusted to perform at a major sporting event again.

As the World Cup progresses, we’ll be trying to convince ourselves that England can win it – or at least not ritually humiliate themselves. Things have started well with Gareth Southgate fostering a promising atmosphere around the squad and this morning we get the first few hints as to what his team will look like for the Group G opener against Tunisia on Monday night.

The papers are pretty unanimous in their conclusions having observed training yesterday. So, in come Jordan Henderson, Ashley Young and Harry Maguire – and out go Eric Dier, Danny Rose and Gary Cahill. With Marcus Rashford missing two days of training, that makes England’s starting XI for their opening game look like this:

Pickford; Walker, Stones, Maguire; Tripper, Henderson, Young; Alli, Lingard; Sterling, Kane.

Aleksandr Golovin (Russia): Team-mate Denis Cheryshev was the FIFA man of the match yesterday – but when have we ever trusted FIFA to get votes right? With two assists – crosses for the headers scored by Gazinsky and Dzuyba – and a lovely free-kick for himself right at the end, the 22-year-old kicks off our new segment on the players who capture your hearts at major tournaments – even if it’s only for 24 hours or so. Golovin was a delight, especially after being pushed into a central creative role following the injury to Dzagoev, and expect the papers to jump all over those rumours he is being lined up by Arsenal. *Googles 'Golovin Russia shirt' earnestly*

Thursday was ITV’s big day as they broadcasted the big kick-off, and they didn’t disappoint. The ballet-themed opener seemed to draw inspiration from the BBC’s Italia 90 titles but the studio was hi-tech, drawing a wide range of comparisons.

But in truth, it was all about Clive Tyldesley’s commentary. Maybe four years is a bit too long to have to think up lines for a World Cup opener.

It’s day two and things really get going at the World Cup with three games to get stuck into. Egypt and Uruguay contest the second match in Group A with Mo Salah fit to start in the 1pm kick-off. Then it’s onto Group B as Morocco take on Iran at 4pm and, in what may be the pick of the group games, Spain face Portugal at 7pm.

Today also sees the launch of our new daily video – World Cup Today. So look out for that dropping shortly.