'I was emotionless' - Mark Selby says depression took joy away from World Championship win in 2016
/dnl.eurosport.com/sd/img/placeholder/eurosport_logo_1x1.png){kind=logo}
Published 15/04/2022 at 10:00 GMT
Mark Selby says he will be going to Sheffield with a 'new perspective' as he seeks to defend his World Championship title while battling depression. Selby has said in an interview with The Sportsman that his mental health struggles took the joy away from his 2016 title. Selby opens his defence on Saturday from 10am at the famous Crucible Theatre in Sheffield.
Mark Selby celebrates winning the 2016 Snooker World Championship
Image credit: Getty Images
Mark Selby has said that snooker seems "irrelevant right now" as he prepares to defend his World Championship title at the Crucible.
Selby has opened up about his mental health struggles and battle with depression in recent months, and the impact that has had on his career over the past six years.
Selby won at the Crucible last year for the fourth time, adding to titles in 2014, 2016 and 2017.
But he says that he felt "emotionless" after winning in 2016.
“Even in my post-final interview I remember saying it had been a tough few weeks, that close friends and family would understand, I had pulled out of a couple of tournaments before that, and wasn’t even going to play in the worlds," Selby told The Sportsman.
“In the end I agreed with Vikki to go and play, and that hopefully the venue and the atmosphere might perk me up rather than sitting at home.
“It felt strange winning it that year, but maybe I was feeling under no pressure. I wasn’t expecting anything from myself.
“But at the end, when it should have been one of the best times in my life sharing it with Vikki and Sofia, I was emotionless, holding it up for appearances.
“While I was trying to have the professional help from the doctor and play at the same time, it was not so much the actual playing that was difficult – more the sitting in your seat. When I was at the table I had things to think about and keeping your mind active. But sitting in my chair you’re in your own headspace and thinking about all the rest.
“That was life off the table, past experiences, not snooker at all. Initially we agreed to carry on playing if I could, because there is a danger of locking yourself at home and curling into a ball. That wasn’t the way to go, I wanted to keep myself busy which was why I carried on to start with. The playing is the easy bit, it’s the battling with the demons in my head that is tough.
“Some days I am okay, but I've been having more bad days than good, hence why I am in the position I am in and why I spoke out. Hopefully I can reverse that, and that is why I have been working with his psychiatrist doctor from London, a couple of sessions a week at first, then one a week, and a change of medication."
Selby is now receiving professional help and wants to turn things around for himself.
He said that, while he will be "fighting himself" in Sheffield, he is focused on "feeling better" and trying to look forward to the tournament.
“Snooker goals seem irrelevant right now, even though this is the World Championship. I have had no motivation and it is hard to explain it other than to people who have had (depression). The temptation is to say ‘Just snap out of it’, but I just never know how I am going to feel. I can wake up and feel a little better, then as the day goes on and I have a cloudy patch and feel much worse.
“It feels like I am fighting myself every day, but I have got great support around me with Vikki and the family, and now this doctor.
“I will be going to the Crucible probably with a different perspective and hopefully feeling better. I have someone to WhatsApp in a bad patch.
“I have been given a lot of things to do and it is up to me to do them. I have always treated snooker like it is life or death, and the hurt from defeats has been very strong.
“The doctor is sure that has something to do with losing my dad. Because my mum walked out when I was young, when I lost him, it was my whole family.
“I had nobody, the only thing I had to turn to was snooker, and that became like a comfort blanket. He believes that is why I have put so much into it, and where I feel most comfortable.
“I would love to look forward to it, because it would be a shame to be at the Crucible and not care whether I won or lost.”
Scan me
Related Topics
Share this article
Advertisement
Advertisement