The Warm-Up: Rooney reveals moment his United career was over

Jose Mourinho has been pretty respectful to Chelsea since they found the biggest bin in west London and dumped him in it, back in December 2015. Aside from that time those fans with the shortest memory of all time booed him, he’s spoken with fondness about his former employers. But perhaps this was a long-con. Maybe he’s been playing them all along. It could be that he was setting up the coldest revenge of all time.

For several reports this morning suggest that after he swooped in and nabbed Romelu Lukaku, Mourinho is also preparing to gazump Chelsea for midfielder Tiemoue Bakayoko as well, the Monaco midfielder that Antonio Conte has been patiently eyeing up for most of the summer. A bid of around £40 million is expected, topping Chelsea’s offer of £37m.

Maybe United are just trying to flush Chelsea out in an attempt to sign Nemanja Matic. Maybe they genuinely and objectively think Bakayoko is a better bet for them. Or maybe this is Mourinho playing the long game, getting his former loves back after they betrayed him so. Maybe he’s trying to make Roman Abramovich look like Bob Hoskins at the end of The Long Good Friday. The Warm-Up doesn’t have a dog in this fight, but by golly it would be funny if that were true.

It was oddly heart-warming to see Wayne Rooney back at Everton over the last couple of days, if only because now he can have access to as many sets of club-branded pyjamas as he likes. But also more because he really does seem happy, speaking about how delighted his parents, and oddly his eldest son are that he’s back at Goodison Park again.

“I didn’t tell Kai either because he was going to school and I didn’t want him speaking to his mates,” Rooney said. “It was literally once everything was agreed and the paperwork was through that I told everyone. Kai just jumped on me. It was the happiest I’ve ever seen him. My dad, too. Obviously he’s an Evertonian and he’s been going to Manchester to watch me for the last 13 years. Now he’ll just have a five-minute drive.”

Rooney also revealed that his exit from Manchester United had been on the cards since November. “I started the season doing OK, I did well,” he said. “I had a bad game at Watford away and that was it.

“It was probably around about November I knew [I had to leave]. I spoke to Jose in January to see what his opinions were and he always said he wanted me to stay and try to help the team until the end of the season. I helped in the games he put me in. I knew, for me, I had to leave, to move forward for my career. Obviously it was a sad moment because I had been at the club for 13 years but I had to think of my career as well.”

The whole thing has been handled pretty well really, by all parties. It would be easy to have a dig, to snipe, to sneer at a career that is undoubtedly not what it was, but everyone seems to have done themselves some credit. And that’s nice. It’s nice to be nice.

One of the pluses of not having much/any football to watch is the little good news stories that might otherwise get lost in the noise, can have a proper airing. Like Aaron Lennon, who seems to be on the mend after being detained under the Mental Health Act back in May.

He’s spent the intervening weeks recovering and receiving treatment, and is now back in training with Everton.

“It’s great to be back after a difficult period. I’ve had a good first week of training and I can’t wait to kick on now,” the winger said. “I want to thank all the staff and patients at The Priory in both Darlington and Altrincham and all the staff at Salford Royal Hospital.

“The support I’ve had from Everton, Spurs, their fans, football fans and concerned members of the general public has been incredible. It’s important to emphasise that there is amazing help out there and anyone feeling anything out of the ordinary should seek support because it is great and good to talk. Lastly, a special thanks to the staff at Everton, my team-mates, and especially my family and the people around me.”

Usually footballers trying desperately to ingratiate themselves with the locals by engaging in some regional patter are profoundly embarrassing, but Yaya Toure is basically a Manc now, so we rather enjoyed him cracking out the lingo here.

However…

Club social media accounts can go either way. They can be a valuable tool for engaging with a youthful and perhaps not-so-youthful fanbase, or they can be a cringingly hideous embarrassment to all involved. The idea of inventing one’s own hashtag can be a tricky one too, but maybe this is the summer that some clubs have got the hang of it. Inter, for example – and we’ve no idea why they haven’t thought of this before – coming up with #InterIsComing: very strong. Equally, Arsenal announcing the arrival of Alexandre Lacezette with #LacaNewSigning: also strong. It’s a brave new world.

You’ll presumably have all seen the front page of the Irish Herald, on which Romelu Lukaku was mistaken for Stormzy. And it would be easy enough to chuckle at the gaffe…but you know, Stormzy’s right: assuming two black men are the same bloke isn’t particularly funny.

On this day in 1982, the World Cup final. Italy. West Germany. Paolo Rossi. Marco Tardelli. Dino Zoff. Magic.

Not sure who new Chelsea signing Antonio Rudiger is, aside from a man who enjoys bantering off Leeds? Allow James Horncastle to enlighten you.

Look, if you absolutely insist on continuing to watch football, even though THERE IS NO FOOTBALL, you can probably find a little football somewhere. Like some Champions League qualifiers, or a bunch of friendlies. But, y’know, watch the tennis or something.