Hello and welcome to live coverage of Newcastle United versus Tottenham Hotspur. Expect jokes about mild cheddar interrupted by occasional reports on the football match.

Ameobi gets to the byline on the left wing, and sends over a poor cross that drifts behind for a Lloris goal kick.

Santon trips Walker on the opposite side of the pitch as the Newcastle free kick. Walker takes and Vertonghen reaches the ball at the back post, but heads wide of the goal.

The corner is poorly flapped away by Lloris, and Spurs struggle to clear properly, taking all kinds of headers and swipes to eventually get into Newcastle's half.

Capoue goes in late on Gouffran, and Newcastle have a free kick on the right wing, 45 yards out. The ball is chipped towards De Jong at the back post but Kaboul puts it out for a corner.

Cisse breaks down the middle but he's tackled and Newcastle have a throw. This is a relatively uneventful period of the match.

Spurs are pressing the Newcastle defence high up the pitch, and Krul is being forced into some hasty clearances.

A long free kick is aimed towards De Jong, who headed the ball across goal and Lloris saves brilliant to block Cisse's effort and eventually Spurs clear.

A reverse pass is fizzed forward for Adebayor, but it's strongly hit, beyond Adebayor and out for a goal kick.

Santon dithers in possession, and Dembele tackles him. the ball runs to Paulinho on the edge of the six yard box, and he blasts a powerful shot into the corner that Krul does well to beat away. Spurs can't do anything from the corner.

Chance for Spurs. Dembele squeezes down the right, and behind Santon, he pulls the ball back for Adebayor whose shot is deflected just wide by Anita. Williamson clears the corner.

Spurs play the ball around their defence, and Newcastle press them when in possession.

Newcastle's first attack sees a Sissoko cross from the right cleared, and a long-range Debuchy shot blocked.

Spurs have started brightest, but haven't created any clear chances yet. Newcastle's biggest weakness is their defence, so it would make sense for Spurs to put the pressure on whenever they can.

Spurs have three in midfield, and they fail to score in the first minute. Sherwood out!

Five minutes to kick off, so let's have a prediction. Newcastle will score two and Mild Cheddar won't score at all. 2-0 to the home side. Feel free to send your predictions to @lxndrnthrtn.

Spurs have Big Daddy Kane on the subs bench, which is an interesting move. Given that he's an ageing US rapper, it's a surprise that he got a work permit, and also that he passed the medical. It'll be interesting to see if he can play the game as well as he can spit it.

If you would like to get in touch with me on Twitter then you can do so at @lxndrnthrtn. Keep it clean, and I might even reply. Imagine the pride!

When Sherwood says they will always attract the biggest named players, I can only assume he means the players with the names that have the most letters in them. Spurs can attract some very good players, obviously, but unless they have regular Champions League football they will always have to sell them when bigger clubs take a fancy. So a win tonight is an important step in keeping in touch with Liverpool, in fourth.

Tim Sherwood (Tottenham): "Tottenham is a massive football club and will always attract the biggest named players. If they are coming here to build and progress with the side they are going to pick Tottenham. There are other clubs where they could go and sit on the bench for a period of time and pick up championship medals, but it isn't something I would have wanted to do (when I was a player). The club sells itself, it is far bigger than any manager. "

Alan Pardew, there, talking about himself, which is obviously a rare occurence for the gentleman. Newcastle got tonked by Chelsea at the weekend but I don't think they played especially badly (nor well, admittedly). Eden Hazard was hugely impressive, and Oscar and Samuel Eto'o played well around him, too. Spurs don't have any players of similar quality to worry the Newcastle defence.

Alan Pardew (Newcastle): "'I try to be consistent through the ups and downs of the emotion that is in this city at times. Some of it is over the top, there's no doubt about that. For me, it's very difficult to sometimes isolate myself and concentrate on what's important. But usually, nine times out of 10, it's the next game and I'm pretty good at focusing my mind. I have got pretty narrow vision when it comes to the job at hand."