Evening all, and welcome to the in an absolute state derby. All being well, this evening should furnish us with some exhibition, vicarious misery; what more could anyone want?

Stoke get the second half going.

I have just learnt that until Peter Crouch scored for them against Chelsea, Stoke had gone 56 games without an English scorer.

That was not especially good, but Stoke have been the better side. In particular, Marko Arnautovic has the beating of Younes Kaboul, hopelessly out of his depth as a wide centre-back against a fast, tricky, powerful winger, and that mismatch will lead to a goal if it's allowed to continue.

For Watford, Holebas has looked dangeoursish, but otherwise they look like a team bereft of confidence trying to find the best way of playing.

Half-time: Stoke City 1-0 Watford

GOAL! Stoke City 1-0 Watford (Shawcross) This is an excellent finish, almost a version of the old Anderton-Sheringham corner. It's clipped low towards the near post, where it's turned in hard, giving Gomes no chance. Not sure what was going on with the marking there, but very well taken nonetheless.

Adam swings over a cross from the right, diving header behind by Prodl.

Arnautovic isolates Kaboul again, beating him for the third time with a change of pace and a swerve before crossing low; Prodl does well to hump it behind. The corner comes to nowt.

Meanwhile, Swansea, who have apparently dominated the first half against Palace, now lead 1-0. Do they know how big Bigsam is?

There shall be three added minutes.

Deeney finds Guediora, whose touch is heavy, but almost allows him to sneak a pass around the side of the defenders clustered in the middle, for the man on the other side. Almost.

Behrami limps off.

Behrami is down receiving treatment and Ighalo is warming up - it looks like the change will be made.

Oh dear. Arnautovic comes inside, moving past Kaboul and across the edge of the box, swivelling into a shot that flies over the bar.

I actually think this is harsh - if he played with players as good as he is, we'd see more of him.

Kabasele heads the ball clear and Watford look to break, but Guediora leaps with his studs as Arnautovic ducks his head and the ref reckons that's a free-kick to Stoke. It's 35 yards out and just left of centre, so Adam ahs the angle changed before clipping in gently; Prodl heads clear.

Holebas crosses again and Kabasele goes over Johnson at the back post, landing on his back. It looks a sair yin and it is - there's some rolling and some treatment, but he's fine now.

Holebas, who's looking sharp, diddles Diouf again then slips a lovely reverse-pass for Doucoure, inside the box 10 yards from goal. He should shoot, but instead opts to cut back, and Stoke clear. Still, it's livening up a bit.

Pieters chips in a cross from the left that Crouch heads towards goal. Gomes is there, though, deciding to push it away rather than catch for reasons known best to himself. The ball hits Diouf and bounces clear, after which Watfrod break, Guediora finding Deeney with a long diagonal pass. The crowd are screaming for offside - it's not - but Deenet, on the left of the box, opts to wait for support instead of shooting, checks, and winds up getting robbed.

And there we go. Arnautovic streaks down the left, round Guediora and away from Kabasele - he is the best player on this pitch by such a long way. He slips.

Behrami wins the ball off Crouch on halfway, and Holebas then knocks him over. The crowd want a free-kick, but the ref thinks not, which some find most upsetting.