Afternoon all, and welcome to the start of a frankly ludicrous night of football. Oh yes!

Eric Dier says he doesn't mind where he plays. Course you don't, sweetheart.

My absolute word.

Uefa reckon Eriksen will play behind Kane, with Moura on the right, and they're so rarely wrong on these things that I assume they're given a heads-up. But when I saw the XI, I assumed it's be Moura closes to Kane and Eriksen on the right. We'll see.

Marc van Bommel tells BT that there's always pressure, even though PSV are fourth favourites in the Group of Death ... and not much else.

I'm not really sure what's going to happen in this one. I think both sides'll score, but beyond that, I don't know. I guess I'm leaning towards Spurs, but I've not seen much of PSV this season, so it's not really for me to say. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

He also thinks that they have to win - they do - but they should stick in the game and step it up towards the end. I see what he's saying, but that's a risky strategy.

Glenn Hoddle thinks Spurs should try not to concede an early goal.

Spurs, meanwhile, have Christian Eriksen back, but I'm surprised Erik Lamela isn't in - he's been good this season, and they could probably use his graft, especially in the early stages when PSV will hurl themselves into things.

So let's have a closer looks at the teams, now I've written them down: as expected, Bergwijn doesn't make it; his replacement on PSV's left-wing is Malen who, at 19, is making his Champions League debut. On the right, Hirving Lozano will fancy his chances against Ben Davies, I shouldn't wonder.

Right then, let's have some teams, shall we?

This game should an absolute jazzer. PSV are top of the Eredivisie, 9-0 in the process, while Spurs are 7-2-0 - though, it must be said, aren't playing that well. However, they need a result tonight, sat second from bottom of the Group B table with nil pwaa, just above PSV, who also have nil pwa. Basically, one can afford to mess around.